The Apple Cafe

Fine art of dressing

2011-09-16T18:09:00.003+08:00

I love clothes and love to shop for them. I will also be the first to admit that I don't have a naturally easy-to-dress figure. You know how some people can just throw on anything and it fits them? Maybe that is you but it sure ain't me.

So when the occasion actually requires me to dress a certain way to portray a certain image. It.actually.takes.work. Like serious brain-cogs-turning type work.

So, I needed to attend one of many parentsevent in my daughter's school and I wanted to look:
• nice and approachable
• like a caring and involved mom
• intelligent and not a push over
• slim
• pretty

So yeah, QED. Not!

I had put on a black dress but it looked a little too short and showedoo much leg.
I tried on another black dress and it looked too work.

In the end, I decided on jeans for the approachability factor and heels for the pretty factor. The yellow shrug was to add a burst of color and a little fun factor. Hair was back to show a little seriousness and make up was kept natural to show low-maintainence.

Whoever said being a school mom was easy?!

First ailment of grade one

2011-09-15T06:33:00.001+08:00

It is never fun to have a sick child - not just for the little one, but also for me as her mom.

I go through a host of emotions ranging from anger at myself (why didn't I keep a better watch on her so she didn't fall ill) to helplessness (I can't take away your pain and discomfort, my daughter) to calling upon my Lord God (here is your child Lord, please heal her).

I am sure most mothers feel this way. We accept that our children will succumb to ailments and we news to do our time nursing them back to health.

Kiddo was very upset at having to miss her first spelling session and disappointed at not being able to play with her friends.

Get well soon, little one. Fun at school awaits!

Dating my girl

2011-08-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

Now that Kiddo is older, we get to hang out in more grown up ways - visiting shops and having grown up meals at nicer places. It gives me an opportunity to share with her about myself and also provides me a chance to teach her lessons that present themselves during our interaction. This is also a time when I get to see a different side of my little one and observe how she sizes things up and expresses her opinions about them.

We take turns to browse shops that appeal to one another and even shops that draws both of us at the same time - such as home decor shops. Interestingly enough, this 5 year old has an affinity to home decoration shops as they often contain very pretty and unique objects and presentations are pleasant.

We went to Tanglin Mall (Singapore) to grab some groceries and supplies for Shanghai after her cycling lessons (Entry to come later) and decided to do dinner out as a treat tonight. Kiddo took me to a Japanese eatery called Tetsu. It was a joint that her grandma had taken her a couple of weeks ago as a treat. She was so proud to be able to show me something new and she knew exactly what she wanted for her dinner.

We wowed at the food, people watched, talked about the family and gave each other hugs and snuggles - a real successful date. I'm so looking forward to having more dates with my girl as she is really a fun person to be with.

An act of kindess

2011-07-30T23:14:00.004+08:00

I was at a supermarket today and was bending over to grab a packet of Vitagen when the buttons on my top popped. Now, the top was not very tight to start off with, and it was one of those linen pieces that was held together with only 3 buttons and came fully apart at the back.

So as you can imagine, I was mortified and trying desperately to keep cool and hang on to whatever shred of dignity I had left, which was not much. I fumbled with the buttons on my back and was praying that the gentleman browsing the cheese section three feet away wouldn't notice. As if.

Thankfully, a lovely lady came over and offered to help me. She was so sweet about it and even jokingly asked what I did to have popped ALL the buttons. I told her it was one of those things that happened. She deftly did up the buttons, I thanked her and we parted ways. The entire incident probably lasted about 2 minutes at the very most.

I think we are daily presented with opportunities to show kindness to others around us. Think of how we interact with one another daily and these opportunities are just there - holding the lift for someone, pointing the direction to another, or simply offering help when someone looks lost without being asked for it.

I, for one, am guilty of playing dumb at times when it doesn't suit me to be kind to others - jabbing at the close button when I am late for a meeting when I can see someone trying to walk faster for the lift, waiting to see if anyone else will offer help to a lost patron who's trying to figure out how the sophisticated food-ordering system at the famous Old Airport Road Rojak stall works (I did, but only after watching the lady looking lost for half a minute), failing to point out to a male stranger walking by that his pants are undone...I admit that it is embarrassing to recount these actions.

The lady who offered help to me today could have easily walked away. Instead, she offered help that I gratefully accepted and very much appreciated. I think we all could do with a reminder to be kind to one another - don't you?

An insensitive comment and how it SHOULD NOT bother me

2011-07-28T09:59:00.004+08:00

We all have bad days now and then.

I had one yesterday when someone very insensitively commented on how much weight I've put on (I have my reasons) and why I should watch what I ate.

I rationally know that I should not let what others say affect me. I am after all a MATURE person of a certain age, AND should know better. But it still hurts when someone close makes such a comment - its like poking a finger into an already raw and bloody wound.

Gee, thanks.

So here's a pout on my behalf.

Wish I was there

2011-07-17T21:42:00.009+08:00

Himself is currently in

on a work trip and wouldn't allow me to
saying that his global bosses are there with him for his meetings.
That leaves me in Sunny Singapore wishing I could enjoy freshly made
whilst taking the sights in

and most importantly, playing my part in the

Summer Sales! Sigh.

Hopefully he brings me a little something of beautiful Paris when he returns.

Knowing that I am deeply loved

2011-07-02T22:37:00.006+08:00

I am home in Singapore and after putting my Samsonite to rest, I realize how much I am loved just by a simple thing like a trip home.

My father shows up at the airport no matter what time my flight gets in. He has been doing so since I left home for university at 18 years of age. I also know that he gets sleepless nights in the days leading up to my arrival and departure home. He buys the durian that I love and still tries to wait up for me when I get home late at nights - even at my age.

My mother asks what I'll like to do today and when I say anything, we'll just go hang out together running errands. She offers to take me shopping for hard-to-find food items like steel-cut oats.

My helper ensures that I have my favourite everything set up before I land in Singapore and offers to cook my meals and look after my every need when I am around. She's been with our family for 14 or more years (I've lost count) and really sayangs me. She will even fix me pot noodles in the middle of the night if I ask her - which I honestly don't.

My husband ensures that I travel with my passport, SIM card and credit/ATM cards, placing them in order on the table before I travel as he knows that I can be a scatterbrain at times. Though he is crazy busy at work, he tries to ring or text when he gets the rare chance and though he still grumbles at my expenditure, his grumbles have lessen over the years. *Hee*

My best girl rings up the mobile company trying to activate my mobile so that it is ready before I arrive. Unfortunately I messed up by giving her to wrong identification number.

This is obviously just a select few that I've listed and I could go on and on. I feel so secure and blessed knowing that I am loved by so many people. This feeling really just can't be beat.

What are some ways that the people around you do to show their love for you?

Eight years ago today

2011-06-28T04:48:00.005+08:00

Eight years ago we pledged our love and commitment for one another before God and before our loved ones. At the risk of sounding cliche, it does feel like it happened yesterday.

Five things I wish I'd known about our marriage eight years ago:

1) We will still be living in Shanghai after 8 years - Given our history of living in different cities before we got married - San Jose and New York to name a few, I would have thought we would be at Hanoi or Mumbai by now. But nope, still in Shanghai. This place kind of grows on you and the pace of change here does keep things fresh - new eateries, new friends, new places to explore.

2) We will still be living apart - this seems to be a common theme for our relationship, working and living apart from one another at a distance.

Himself currently works in Nanjing and though it was a joint decision that received my blessings, I still miss him terribly. We had dated long distance for quite some years (6.5 years of which 9 months of being physically at the same place in the beginning), but I can now see how God was preparing us for something bigger then. I do hope that a posting will turn up in the near future that will allow us to be physically as a family again.

You would think this means I get to sprawl all over a two by two meters bed every night. Think again. Himself sent an envoy, the little one, to take this place.

3) We will be competing for wardrobe space. Himself prides himself as being put together for all seasons. He has six-monthly ritual of swapping his wardrobe around to match the seasons. Need I say more?

4) We still enjoy the simple things in life - grocery shopping, planning menus and trying out self-thought out recipes, giggling at sermons, ogling at our main source of news from home Channelnewsasia and jointly making fun of the little one. Though life has been very hectic for us both, so much so that we don't do many holidays or date nights, I am thankful that we are able to find joy in the small things that happen everyday.

5) Like wine, marriage does get better with age. A common theme I've been hearing a lot about recently is how marriage is not just about love - but about commitment. It is about running the race together and finishing well together.

I am thankful that we have not been challenged so much in our relationship that we are torn apart, but rather, we have been able to, by God's grace, surmount each situation and come through. I am humbled by the knowledge of who is really in charge here - God. Though there are times when I nit pick and wish for a more (fill in the blank) husband - some suggestions in case you need help include romantic, thoughtful, over-the-top - I know that this one is great for me.

The 90s beans

2011-06-23T00:10:00.007+08:00

It is shocking how I can go months on end without giving a thought to The Passing of Time, until some experience triggers it - like lunch with interns who are born in the 1990s.

When I first looked at application resumes to fill these positions, I nearly fell off my chair at the fact that we are now seeing the graduation of beans born in the 90s. Eeps. I mean, these are kids that were in diapers when I was completing my secondary education. Double eeps.

Having said that, I have noticed these youthful bean (sprouts) possess a confidence that surpasses their age. They are also a very vocal and articulate bunch - far more than what I was at the same age. They have the smarts and the looks and are definitely not afraid to be proud of it. They are very aware of the world around them and very eager to embrace change - be it a change in the direction a task is taking or a change in their life choices.

A lot has to be said for this future generation. I am impressed. And they do inject a tinge of fun even during a work meal.

Have you Zumba-ed?

2011-06-21T20:19:00.005+08:00

I have been Zumba-ing and am quite enjoying it. In case you are not in the know, Zumba is a latin inspired dance fitness program that combines high energy music with dance moves gleaned from salsa, rumba and a little of bit of everything else.

Since I used to dance (circa when dinosaurs still roamed the earth) and still love the IDEA of doing so, I signed up for a class and have never looked back. A disclaimer first though, I am self-certified to be very unfit and probably clinically too, but I prefer to live under my shell thank you. So the first lesson was fun but really bad - panting, sweating and a lot of heaving - you get the idea.

Subsequent lessons are better as I found myself actually moving along with the music actually able to loosen up a little. Until I caught myself occasionally in the mirror. As a friend shared, she really doesn't like Zumba as there are too many wiggly, jiggly and saggy bits looking back at her in the mirror which led me to share with her my secret: to just keep my eyes peeled on the instructor and mentally pretend that I am still a size 6. See, deception is not ALWAYS a bad thing.

I definitely will not get back to my slim self with this workout but it sure is a fun activity that masquerades as exercise.

Here are some places in Shanghai that offers Zumba:

BeFit
(Meets at Lakeville XinTianDi and Grand Gateway)

Community Center of Shanghai
(Classes in Hong Qiao and Pudong)

Celebrating a parenting milestone

2011-06-21T18:43:00.008+08:00

Receiving her certificate from Julia, who is an amazing educator.

Flowers were presented by Himself to her on stage - much to her glee.

Saturday 11 June 2011 marked a milestone in our parenting experience as we watched our little one graduate from Kindergarten. We have been very blessed to be able to find a school in Shanghai that fits so well with our values and parenting style and most importantly, a place where she has been able to thrive in her early childhood years.

We have been with the Julia Gabriel family since we were a few months old starting from the pioneer batch of PlayNest class then moving on to PlayClub. From there, we were one of the handful who were in the experiemental Pre-Nursery class which attempted to allow parents to continue with an attachment parenting style as the children transited to proper kindergarten.

Over the years, we have bonded with the families and it has indeed become part of a much larger entity. We know every child's likes and dislikes and we party and holiday together. We share viruses and germs of all kinds and sorts and it is amazing how the class's immunity has developed as one as the years have passed.

The K2 class that we are in comprise of more than 70% of children who have been together since they were 18 months old. Amazing bonds and I am glad to say, the bonds will probably continue to get stronger as many of them are heading to the same grade school.

I often joke that if any of them end up dating, we can actually use the line "I've known you since you were in diapers, young man, so don't try to pull anything funny!"

As I watched the little one perform on stage at her Celebration, I can't believe how much she and the other children have grown. They are confident, articulate, fully bilingual and very creative -they wrote their own version of the Monkey God classic and performed it as one of the items.

I think they are well-positioned to be confident little people who will hopefully remember all that they have in them to be fruitful adults.

Thank you teachers - many who have become friends (I know, I know, I need new friends now!) - for playing a part in helping the little one grow into the amazing kid that she is today. And little one, don't grow too fast - Mama can't imagine how heart rending it will be when the day comes for me to send you to university.

Shaun the Sheep

2011-06-18T08:57:00.005+08:00

Have you watched the really adorable animated series called Shaun the Sheep?

It is a British animated series and features a farmer, a dog as the sheep's minder and a flock of sheep with a ringleader called Shaun. The sheep get up to all sorts of adventures which could involve the pigs in the pen next door, a trip to the nearby town to buy pizza, breaking in to the farmer's home to catch a movie on the telly and all sorts of funny situations - think sheep footie premier league played with a cabbage.

The clay or maybe plasticine animation of this series is superbly done with facial expressions of all characters so adptly captured by the animators. There is a minimal use of the spoken language which makes it appealing across all age groups.

Most of all, I appreciate the simplistic nature of the themes presented in the series, a rarity in my opinion, that doesn't include violence or have sexual undertones. It reminds me of the cartoons I used to watch as a child.

Check out http://shuanthesheep.com/ and give it a try.

Weighty thoughts

2011-06-16T18:20:00.003+08:00

At 18 years of age, I used to think that I was fat - absolutely obese in fact.
This continued throughout throughout my 20s as I will constantly loath myself and labelled myself fat.

Ah...the follies of youth, what little did I know.

Looking back at the pictures taken from years gone by, I was absolutely thin then AND hands down beautiful. Especially on my wedding. But then, every woman is beautiful during their wedding day, something to do with happiness and glowing from being the center of attention and all that.

Now that I am light years away on the wrong side of my 20s, I have since put on a LOT of weight due to my sedentary lifestyle (tsk tsk) and am trying to accept myself for what I am. The key lesson here is for me to learn how NOT to condem myself for how I look, but to accept and love the fact that I have been made perfect, and to just buy larger sized clothing.

I want to try to be healthy, try being the operative word here, and enjoy my health without forsaking my love for life (read: food). The weight has crept up over the past 3 years, probably due to the medication that I've been on. My goal has been reduced from wanting to be thin to wanting to be healthy i.e. to excercise three times a week and to take more fruits and vegetables.

It does sound so simple to achieve on paper (or on blog), but in reality it doesn't always happen. As with anything, it takes lots of discipline to make this a priority, but this just becomes another priority amongst a list of priorities. Nevertheless, I SHALL give it a try.

Excuse me now, ladies and gentlemen, I am off to change and hit the gym. Cooking for my child can wait till I get back....see what I mean about priorities?

Send me positive thoughts!

Cherished moments

2011-02-05T18:49:00.004+08:00

I managed to capture her having a conversation with some stuffed animals the other day. She was baa-ing to the little stuffed sheep and actually play acting with sheep and the kangeroo next to it.

I thought it was so sweet to be able to bear witness to a kiddy moment like this and wanted to commit this to my memory. I know that she will slowly lose her child-like innocence as the years come to pass to be replaced by teenage angst and what not - but till those appear, I know that these moments are to be cherished.

Thank you for 2010

2010-12-31T21:37:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord,

Thank you for watching over my family over the past year. We could not have gone through the year without You.

Thank you for sending trials and seeing us through them. Thank you for not giving us challenges that are more than we can bear. Thank you for showing us how to get around them and how through these challenges, we have learnt more about you and have had the chance to experience Your grace.

I commend our 2011 into Your hands. Father, continue to watch over our family and provide for us. I ask that your mercy be extended to every aspect of our lives and that you continue to draw us close to your side.

I love you Lord and am so thankful that you are my Lord and my Father.

Amen.

The Shanghai grade school hunt: Interview at Ai Ju

2010-12-28T05:19:00.006+08:00

Ai Ju Grade School 爱菊小学
Website: ajxx.xhedu.sh.cn

What I like about this school: A private local school that isn't too large and is strong in the arts faculty whilst maintaining a rigour in the academics. Performance arts such as ballet, er hu, gu zhen, piano to name a few, and the various forms of drawing are offered as part of the curriculum

My concerns about the school: Not a very strong English curriculum, squat toilets for girls (!!! rather lame I know), not very palatable canteen food, not enough outdoor space and track facilities

We, and when I say we, I literally mean R and I, had our first Shanghai school interview 7th December.

The interview was on a Tuesday at 3pm. The admissions coordinator who also doubles as the interviewer only confirmed her availability for the interview 45 minutes before the session - while I was in the middle of a nice lunch at Mi Thai. Needless to say it was a real challenge to remain composed during the rest of the lunch while adrenaline was coursing through my veins.

Being aware that this was a one-on-one interview, I had R's teacher pass us an artwork that she's been working on in class, together with her Chinese rhyme book. I rang ahead and informed her teacher that I will be swinging by shortly to pick her up for the interview and to please help prepare her.

I must say that her teachers did a great job: They had her hair fixed properly, grimy mouth wet-wiped and gave both R and I a much needed psychological boost. You can really tell I was really jittery about this process. We both said a quick prayer en route in the car and I held R on my lap the entire 10 minute journey.

We made our way to Ai Ju in good time and approached the interviewer in her office. She immediately took R to a desk in her room and engaged her in a very chatty conversation, trying to put her at ease. I wasn't given any direction on what I should do, so I made myself scarce by planting myself at a desk about 2 meters away so I was able to observe the process while being out of sight from R.

The interviewer noted that R had an envelope of materials with her and asked to see what she brought. R pulled them out and proceeded to talk through her art work - saying that she made these from colored paper, markers and color pencils. She talked about what she was trying to compose and how fun it was - all in Chinese.

She then proceeded to show a second piece which was a photo of all 11 kids in their class. The interviewer asked who were her friends and asked to her to read the 2 sentences she had written in English below the photo. This she did with great gusto.

They then proceeded to the Chinese Rhyme book which contains rhymes that she learns each week at school which also makes up part of her portfolio of homework she brings home each Friday. The rhymes at her level are now about 6 to 8 sentences long and probably anywhere from 30 to 40 characters in all, with pinyin. The interviewer picked a rhyme that she had learnt in the first week of term 2 and as I head my breathe, R recited through the rhyme in a very clear voice.

The interviewer then picked another and asked her to read through it while she pointed each word. R managed to do it again. I managed to relax a little only to hear the little one proudly announcing as she flipped through the book "Look, this is what my teacher taught today!". I almost buried my head in my hands as I cringed at the thought of my daughter offering to share the gems of her newly gained knowledge. To my surprise, she did pretty well, though she had to be helped along with a handful of new characters. The interviewer asked if her school teacher taught her Chinese in characters or pinyin. R responded that she was taught both and this got a nod of approval.

They then moved on to Math. R was asked to recite her numbers from 1 to 20 - in Chinese and then given simple math sums to solve. Now, I am fully aware that Math is taught in English at Chiltern House, and so far, the children have been solving sums on paper i.e. the numerals are written. This, however, was Math in Chinese and verbal arithmetic and totally caught me by surprise.

She was first asked what 2 and 2 was and quickly responded 4. The next sum was adding 5 to 4, and here she stopped for about a minute. I had to fight the temptation to let the interviewer know that R hasn't learn Math in this form and language. 10, she replied and I frowned. The interviewer sweetly asked R to count again and after a few moments, R said 9. I could breathe again.

This followed by an easy 5 + 5 which R answered easy peasy. She was then asked to solve 3 minus 3, which to my knowledge she hasn't covered yet in K2. She paused for a moment and replied 0. I nearly stood up to applaud. The interviewer then asked R to think hard for the next one: 20 - 2, and to my total surprise, R gave the right answer.

The interview then concluded when R was asked to write both her Chinese and English name, and not a moment too soon in my opinion. The interviewer then proceed to debrief me - the school loves her and thought she interviewed far better than many other children of the 'right' age - and talk me through the next steps.

I am so thankful that the interview went well and now we await for the call in May. Due to reasons pertaining to her cut off age and a clamp down by the local education authorities, R is unable to confirm a place here till all seats are allocated to applicants in the 'right' cut off age, unlike our friends' experiences from the previous year.

We continue to have faith that God will provide the right school for her and our family as we continue to search for a grade school here in Shanghai.

Note: I am aware that the content of the interview would have been considered very easy in an education system like Singapore - I've seen the work that my friends' kids are doing. However, since R hasn't really been pushed in that academic direction in her current environment, at least not to the extent in Singapore, I am so thankful that she seems to be thriving well and seems to be prepared for Grade School.

I recall my anxiety in K1 during a parent-teacher meet where I had voiced my concerns over this. It doesn't help that R doesn't like to flex her academic prowess in my presence, leaving me almost no clue to her reading and math ability. I can only say that I continue to live by faith when in comes to parenting her.

Promoting tourism awareness

2010-12-28T04:56:00.003+08:00

Look what I spotted when we were waiting for my in laws to arrive from their flight into Hangzhou International Airport - a Malaysian flag proudly stuck to a luggage trolley!

I thought it was so adorable and such a show of patriotism. It also got many comments from the local Chinese who went "Oh, that's the Malaysian flag" and many other random comments about Malaysia. I thought this will make a very cool advertising campaign to raise awareness about a country.

Ought to submit this idea to a tourism bureau.

Rubber band star

2010-12-26T14:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes the best joys in life are derived from the simplest things.

We were on a train ride from Shanghai to Nanjing and I was too lazy to pull out the DVD player for the little one and decided to show her what I could remember from my childhood - making a start out of a rubber band.

She was estatic and thought I was THE GIRL! We then practiced a few times and viola, she got it! Here she is with the star she made.

I did a quick search on the net and found tutorials on how to make rubber band stars with one hand only, progressing in difficulty to 3 star rubber bands. Wow. Something to master and make her oogle even more.

VPN - finally

2010-12-24T18:05:00.003+08:00

Yup, I finally got a VPN and now have access to the wider world out there. It has been a mixture of lazy bones + lack of time that held me up and due to a variety of reasons - I am now a proud owner of one of these new-fangled technology VPN thinggies.

Technology is not my strong suit - but then it is one of the things I either yell for help for , or figure it out thinking it can't be that bad can it?

Apparently this one wasn't as bad.

Letting go

2010-08-20T13:49:00.005+08:00

What can you say when God tells you to wait a little more?

I say Yes Lord. I will continue to be patient.

We came a little closer to having an addition to our family though God decided that He wanted to make sure the addition will be more perfect than we can ever imagine and so asked that we wait a while more. Despite being awfully challenged, we rationally gave it over to Him and ask that He bless us in His good time. Kind of like when Abraham was asked to give his son to God and had to trust God that He knew best.

The decision to start the beginning of an end is extremely tough but we knew that it was the rational choice and the right decision for us given the factors that we had to consider, and so we made the decision to let go yesterday.

I am thankful that we have had family & friends who have been able to stand by us through it all with loads of support given in terms of prayers, kind words and thoughts and many other tiny gestures. Also very thankful for the medical people who have been kind, compassionate and total angels throughout this entire situation.

My immediate concerns are my work, my family and my health - in that order.

Very irrational. I know.

I know I need to work through the gamit of emotions and pray for healing both physically and emotionally. Praying that I come to some happy medium while we enter a period of rest, recuperation and fresh starts.

I am home

2010-07-03T20:50:00.003+08:00

I am home.

I realise this is a very confusing term to use since home can also be Shanghai for me. To be honest, Singapore is still home to me even though I've been away for so many, many years.
I crashed and slept about half the day away - it is just so quiet, restful, a respite from the noise and pollution in Shanghai that I've become used it. It may always be my home as I feel like I can really be myself here.

It is a 6 week countdown back to my other home and I am going to treasure every moment of it.

2010-02-07T23:42:00.004+08:00

Never stopped dreaming about having more of these.

Lord please send them down whenever you are ready.

We are SO ready.

2010-02-07T23:31:00.002+08:00

Always wanted to figure out the various flour substitutes and here's something I found for reference. Now to figure out which chinese names & brands match.

Types of flour
Plain flour - all purpose flour / medium gluten flour
Hong Kong flour - cake flour / pastry flour / top flour / softasilk flour / low gluten flour
Cake flour - low gluten flour / softasilk flour / top flour
Sugee flour - semolina flour
Glutinous rice flour - glutinous rice powder / sweet rice flour / sweet rice powder
Rice flour - rice powder
Tapioca flour - tapioca starch / cassava flour
Corn flour - corn starch

Credit: boostprints.com

So deprived

2010-02-07T21:43:00.002+08:00

I walked into a Cold Storage today and nearly swooned from excitement.

Fresh produce, lovely meat cuts, aisles and aisles of cereals, diary products, dried goods...everything that I've wished I've had at one point or the other as I shopped & cooked in Shanghai. It sure took a lot of self-control to NOT run through the supermarket in a mad rampage.

Only managed to get my brains in the right place to grab some lovely fresh butternut pumpkin to roast for dinner.

Yums.

2010-02-05T09:44:00.003+08:00

When you hand a 4 year old a camera, you've got to realise you may get not-so-ideal shots.
Maybe I should add photography lessons to her after-school activities?
Else just invest in a cammie tripod.
Think the latter's cheaper.

2010-02-05T08:59:00.002+08:00

It has been some time since I've had access to the blog and I oh so miss it. Being able to jot down my thoughts and find an outlet for my ~~creative outlet~~ energy means I've had to direct my chi somewhere else...probably explains why I've had bouts of pimple breakouts over the last couple of months.

So now that I've landed in Singapore, where internet freedom prevails - ok, to a larger extent than where I've been, I'm a HAPPY person. Will update more on what's been going on after I settle down.

Ciao for now!

Matthew Williamson @ H&M

2009-05-15T15:51:00.004+08:00

On a spur of a moment, a friend and I decided to head down to check out the Matthew Williamson range at H&M. It was launched the day before in Shanghai and many of the smaller sizes were sold out. I guess that's one comfort for plus sizes like me!

I love his use of bold, vivid colors and the way fabric is draped to create a very light feeling about his pieces. He's managed to creatively added embroidered details as highlights too, and I love embroidary quite a bit.

An overall very "beachy" feel to this collection.

I like it.

Pictures from http://www.h&m.com/

A diva moment

2009-05-15T09:58:00.004+08:00

Was trawling through some photos taken from yester year and came across this one. I got this done during our pre-wedding shots in Shanghai, way back in 2003.

Do I look kitschey or what?

I really should walk around with my feather boa more often...

English Language Club & Me

2009-05-13T18:42:00.002+08:00

I'm waiting for time to pass.

Not cos I am idling at work, but cos I had promised to attend our firm's English Language Club as an expatriate English speaker. And also I was promised free food. Nah. Of course its the former.

I think its fun that the firm tries so hard to provide so many recreational activities for its staff, going to the extent of hiring a full timer to run the recreational club. It really shows committment from the firm's end.

So the event starts in 15 minutes. I think I'll troop up earlier and eye what food I want.

Yeah, I'm hungry.

It is a blessing to enjoy home cooked food

2009-05-13T05:07:00.010+08:00

I admit it. I am picky about food. The way food looks, how it is presented and definitely how it tastes.

I spent a large part of my childhood living with my maternal grandma who's of Cantonese origin and who dedicated a large part of her day ensuring that we were well fed with fresh and nutritious food. She would go to the wet markets every other day and consistently be ordering groceries from the neighbourhood grocer who delivers (though we suspect it may have been more to do with the gift-with-purchases that came with the washing powder/milk/bleach as well).

She would actually spend 3 hours over a charcoal pit slow cooking fish porridge for my brother and me each day and would separate vegs and stir fries into 3/4 portions, only cooking each portion when dad/mom/uncle/auntie arrived home from work - all at different times. That was the extent of her dedication in getting the family the best food she can offer and a key reason why I place so much emphasis on food.

This is true for my family as well. You just can't imagine how much time we spend talking about food and how much we spend each week on groceries. Our favourite pasttime is checking out supermarkets, even on travels.

As a result of having such high food requirements, I bring lunch to work, almost daily. Besides being able to lunch in and save time on work so that I can get home in time to put kiddo to bed, I love being able to look forward to eating what has been packed for the day. The idea that the food is homemade just warms my heart, not to mention the fact that it is probably more nutritious than the food bought elsewhere. Besides, lunching on mass produced food 5-days a week can't be good for me - its simple common sense: mass cooking vs. home cooking. The latter is sure to be better.

Because of this, I have been packing lunch for R each day, with the help of nanny who drops lunch at her class just before lunchtime at noon. R takes lunch with her classmates before heading home after school daily, even though she breaks school at 12:30pm, as we have a long journey home. It is not an easy job - even for me who is able to delegate this task to a helper - since we have to plan menus, buy fresh food (I think we hit the supermarkets at least 2-3 times a week) and rush through the motions of preparing packed food, even for myself - when I find myself packing 2 breakfasts and 1 lunch every morning while trying to get everyone changed and ready to leave for work/school.

So it is rather ~~ironic~~ queer that we have been getting flack for bringing packed lunch to school. Not from the school authorities, but from others around us. They started from last year when she was in Nursery 1 and continue even till this year and I'm sure I'll continue to hear such comments for years to come.

Comments range from pointing out how unrealistic it is to not 'force' my child to eat school food, to how much trouble it must be to prepare fresh food for her each day, to hints of how I am raising a spoilt child who will not 'get used' to eating 'outside' food.

So allow me a few moments to rant:
Tell me, how can wanting to give my child nutritious food be spoiling her? What is so "unrealistic" about bringing homecooked meals to school everyday? Don't many of us grow up bringing packed meals to grade school, high school? I work full time and just want to do what I can, given the resources I have, for a child that I hardly am able to spend time with - is that a very bad thing? We eat out every weekend and little R has no problems eating out - either at friend's place or at restaurants.

Mr B brings breakfast from home. At times snacks too - as I will prefer for him to snack healthily if possible. I bring lunch from home. My dad brings his lunch to work. Mom and my mom in law bring food to their weekly church activities. And no, we are not given flack from the people around us as we are supposedly adults.

In fact, I get a lot of comments saying how blessed I am to be able to bring homecooked food. Since not everyone cooks and has the time to even pack food. But my child, who's dealing with a growing body and mind, is given flack for bringing food from home. Makes any sense to you? Certainly not to me. In case you wonder, she does eat the hot snack that school provides each day. So its not like I am on a anti-school-meal-crusade.

I do periodically ask R if she will rather I stop her packed lunches and for her to take meals in class, and she has always given me a firm no. And the funny thing is the other kids in class show no interest in what she eats, nor does R eating her own food in class seem to create any distruption during common meal times. So I'm not even sure why these comments arise.

R will soon start a full day program as she moves to Kindy 1. I've asked her yet again if she wants to bring lunch to the "big girl class" and she has told me yes. My task is to now train her to unpack her own lunch from her lunchbox so that she doesn't need help from the class assistant. For me, the fun part has just begun - searching for insulated lunch boxes and planning menus, knowing that it is a good thing I am doing for her. I will continue to tag food along with R as long as she wants them - as it is another form of love that I can show her.

I am grateful that R is in a school environment where they respect choices and allow me to be able to parent my child in this manner. I just wish others around us could be more respectful of my/daughter's choice too.

End rant

Sleepless in Shanghai

2009-05-13T03:04:00.004+08:00

It is 3am and I am up.

I've actually been up an hour before and decided to do some work. Probably not the wisest move but figured since my eyes are awake, might as well make use of them.

I'm physically tired - I can feel my body aching and calling for rest but mentally, I am raring to go.

Wish there would be some mechanism to knock me out like Mr B - he seems to have no issues falling asleep anywhere, anytime.

What a blessing that is.

Eye candy shoes

2009-05-12T07:00:00.004+08:00

Aren't these gems pretty?

Unfortunately they don't come in my size.

So I can only drool over them as eye candy.

Pout.

Simple things can make bring much joy

2009-05-12T06:55:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, the things that gives us greatest pleasure are the simplest ones that we take for granted on a daily basis.

Case in point: Who knew that a bus ride around the estate could leave my daughter SO deliriously happy?

This van is Mr B's ride when he has to entertain heavily that night i.e. drink a lot with clients and so not fit to drive home. On such mornings, Little R would beg her father to take her for a ride and it can be a short 3 minute ride down the street, circle around the roundabout to leave her high the rest of the day.

I going to miss her innocence when she learns that a chauffered air-conditioned sedan car is actually more coveted than a 12 seater van, although also equipped with a driver.

I'll tell you about her obssessive behavior on the Mass Rapid Transit trains in Singapore another time.

5th year work anniversary

2009-05-11T21:26:00.004+08:00

Today marks my 5th year of service in my current firm.

Its like WOW. Huge revalation for me. Never thought I'll be in ONE place for so long.

I have only held two jobs after graduation, both in very different fields, roles and in fact different countries. In this world where many in the secular world switch jobs every other year, it does seem rather unusual to stick to one firm for so long.

Anyhow, I pinged the man who hired me and told him about my achievement. To which he responded "good on you for sticking to this so long" and after which, he gave me a speech about how I actually worked out to his expectations and have done well.

Sometimes, that's all I need. A pat on the back from someone I respect.

Downtime during the May Holidays

2009-05-11T13:20:00.010+08:00

We spent some rare quiet family time on May Day.

Just us three, a picnic basket, a picnic mat, a soccer ball, the clear blue sky and a gentle breeze.

We were at Le Meredian Hotel in SheShan , one of the places that we keep heading to whenever there is a 3-day weekend.

Lunch was some fried beehoon, baked chicken wings, salsa cum chips and a chocolate cake. Really yummy.

We were able to lie quietly and observe how lovely the trees were and how pretty it was when the sunlight shone through. It was thoroughly therapeutic. Try it the next time you need some quiet time.

Blessed Moms Day

2009-05-10T16:49:00.009+08:00

I am so happy today.

God is so good. He led me (us) back to His house again today after I found out, through a series of events, that there was a church service near our home. And Praise the Lord, there are morning services with a Sunday school!

We used to attend the HengShan services until we had a baby and afternoon services became challenging. So am honestly, so thankful!

So this morning, we all trooped down and had a lovely time in His home. I'm always most at ease when I am in church, it is one of my safe places.

Finding a church service that fits the family's needs is indeed the perfect gift forme on Moms' Day. I'm so thankful and happy.

Blessed Moms Day everyone.

Shanghai Community Fellowship (SCF) - Hong Qiao Branch
New Garden Hotel (opposite Xi Jiao Bin Guan)
9 am & 11 am service
Sunday school 11am
For foreign passport holders only
Bring passport or driver's licence (and they do check!)

Shanghai Mamas Anniversary Party

2009-05-09T13:31:00.007+08:00

We all need people to lean on.

In Shanghai, the ladies involved with the Shanghai Mamas mothering group has been an invaluable part of my mothering experience here in this large and often difficult-to-navigate city.

This group was started by a really dynamic lady who, upon her arrival in Shanghai, felt so alone with her son in this large city. Knowing that there must be other mothers in the same situation, she set up a yahoo-based group and viola, Shanghaimamas was born.

The network is currently made of up about 1,000 expatriate mothers - most of whom had given up their careers, left families to come to Shanghai with their spouses, along with their children.
Mothering is a tough job, as we all know, and having to mother in an unfamiliar city without the support network of family and friends makes it so much harder.

I must say, this network has help bridge this gap and for that I am sincerely very thankful.

Through this network of ladies, I've been able to find recommendations on just about everything I need: who are the best pediatricians around, what to do in an emergency (funnily enough, in Shanghai, its not to call for an ambulance but to hop on a cab and head to the nearest hospital), where to locate rose syrup, where to find organic vegetables...the list is endless.

Through this group, my eyes are opened to the diversity of cultures and opinions that make up our world. How simple topics breastfeeding or an ayi napping can be contentious for some of us.

I've also made some very good mates through this group - ladies who I may never have had the chance to meet given that I work full time and have so little time to join in the fun activities that they do when I am ~~chained to my desk~~ at work. For that, I am very thankful.

This has been one of the reasons why I have volunteered to be part of the group to put together an anniversary party for this group. It is also a time for us to say goodbye to the founder, who will be repatriating back to Texas. I'll miss her a lot and especially her sense of humor and how fast she talks (honestly, we think Singaporeans speak fast, wait till you meet this lady!)

Things from an organising committe have been tough though: ticket sales have not been encouraging and many members have been critical but I do love the spirit behind this small group of ladies who are adamant to make this happen. I just know that at the end of the day, the Lord will bless us with a very successful event where everyone who came will walk away knowing that they are part of a big Shanghaimamas family.

So if you are in town this Saturday 16 May, do drop me a note and ask for some tickets to come to this event.

I'll love to catch up with you.

Back from bloliday

2009-05-09T13:15:00.003+08:00

I'm back from my bloliday.

What's that you ask? I suppose it means a blogging holiday i.e a short break from blogging.

So much has happened over the past 3 weeks, too much in fact, for me to even stop and pen my thoughts.

This is probably one of the days since my last post that I've felt together enough to compose a note. And I'll be catching up with the posts in the following days.

Meanwhile, for all of my friends in Shanghai, let's make the most of this beautiful weather before it gets scorching hot!

Traditional Chinese Brews

2009-04-14T21:00:00.002+08:00

I belong to the modern, westernised-yet-ethically Chinese generation.

The wonders of our thousand-year herbal culture and finds have never meant much to me till very recently. Continuous bouts of illness (me), long term stress from being overworked (Mr B) and the desire to raise a healthier child (Ms R) made me start looking for alternative methods to build up my family's health. And that's how I am starting to rediscover a part of my heritage that I've never acknowledged before.

I am able to identify some basic herbs and their uses that were drummed into me when I used to live with my maternal grandmother as a child. She was Cantonese and had a natural affection for soups and similar herbal brews almost everyday.

I recall days from yesteryear when medical halls were rampant, dotting almost every corner of a resident cluster and we would seem to religiously pop by such shops after the weekly trip to the wet market. Herbs were dispensed from little cubby drawers filling the entire wall behind the counter and weight with balancing contraptions that never seemed to make any sense. After the herbal mixture was chopped/sliced/pounded, they were packed into these pretty pink paper. I used to, and still am, harbor a fondness for this pink paper. I also remember the thick-and-not-unpleasant waft of herbs that fill the air around the medical hall.

So being the modern me, I had stocked up on some packaged herbs from Eu Yan Sang on our last trip home.

They are really manageable and made I think, for the people of my generation who are often ignorant to the various combination of herbs to use. There are even instructions in English so I don't have to zap a few brain cells in discovering the Chinese characters.

Easy peasy.

With the added advantage of making me feel accomplished as a good Asian mother. You know, stooping and stoking the charcoal fire with my straw fan in order to brew herbs that I humbly serve to my family. Yeah, its how I see myself and you may quit laughing now.

Anyhow, I'm still on a lookout for a good English handbook on Chinese herbs. Many I've seen are seriously too boring, with too many challenging words and too few pictures. Do let me know if you have a good reference to recommend.

Nutritious pigeon eggs

2009-04-12T07:18:00.004+08:00

I've recently discovered pigeon eggs.

Not that I never knew pigeons reproduce via eggs, just that the thought of eating them has never occurred to me. Until my acupuncturist (yes, I go to one, another story another day) recommended that I may want to consider this as a rich food source. Pigeon eggs apparently contain 5 times the nutrition of a chicken egg and yet only 1/5 of the cholesterol. Sounds like a marvel food to have.

As with anything new, I first start off researching this. I did my usual search on the net but couldn't find anything about this. I stumbled across many sites talking about how to raise pigeons, homing pigeons and even recipes for cooking the bird itself. But weirdly nothing about eating their eggs.

So I switched to researching in Chinese. Yeah, I can do this if I really need to, thanks to my 4+ years of being an analyst based in Shanghai. Its not my preferable means, but I must admit, there are loads of information on the Chinese web. So its off to Baidu.com.

And wow...this is a really hot topic in the Chinese world. A quick baidu found that

Pigeon eggs are indeed superior in nutrition in the world of egg comparison
Known as "the ginseng of the animal world" (WOW!)
Benefits children especially for nourishing their growing brains
Good for post-partum mothers
Ladies who suffer from anaemia, irregular menstrual cycle and general weakened "Qi"
Helps improve skin texture
Strengthens the body, good for the physically ill

鸽蛋的蛋白质和脂肪含量相对较低，钙含量却较高。

鸽子蛋被人称为“动物人参”含有丰富的蛋白质，对皮肤好，小朋友也可以补脑，身体不好的人也可以吃，对生完小孩的妈妈特别的好，鸽子肉跟鸽子蛋是紧盆骨的！再说一句，生完宝宝的妈妈们吃鸽子汤最好了！中医药学认为，鸽蛋味甘、咸，性平，具有补肝肾、益精气、丰肌肤诸功效。《随息居饮食谱》介绍鸽蛋时说：“甘，平，清热，解毒，补肾益身。”《本草适原》说鸽蛋“久患虚赢者，食之有益。”有贫血、月经不调、气血不足的女性常吃鸽蛋，不但有美颜滑肤作用，还可能治愈疾病，身体变得强壮

I checked with a few people I know who live across Asia and its true, apparently pigeon eggs are revered in many Asian cultures as being a good food. I also learnt that its really much costlier than our regular chicken eggs. Sometimes up to triple the price.

Interestingly enough, pigeon egg whites turn translucent when hard boiled. So you can see the yolk through it. The white is really tasteless but the yolk is contrastingly rich and full bodied. Really yummy, if you like chicken eggs.

We've started having some for 2 weeks now and even little R is starting to like them. I've served them boiled and peeled, soft boiled with soy sauce and pepper and in omelet styles. R was a little turned off by the weird translucent white at first and it took few tries to get her to like it, but she loved the yolk from the start.

A definite must have in on our menu now.

Flowers from potatoes

2009-04-11T20:59:00.011+08:00

Of course I've seen a potato sprout before, especially when I buy them in bulk and forget to use them. I must admit though, that I've never seen them grow as tall as they did in my daughter's classroom.

The kids had soaked some potatos in water as part of a science project. When Miss R told me about this activity, I must admit I failed to respond with as much excitement as I do now as I had glossed it over as a typical must-do type of science experiment. Little did I know that I too, would end up learning through her experience. For from the water soaked potatoes came...green sprouts.

And to my amazement, the sprouts not only showed up but proceeded to grow really tall. For the life of me, I can not recall my childhood potato planting experiments to yield such results.

Look, there are even white blossoms gracing the greens!

It just goes to show that I can always learn from the discovery of new facts from "been-there- done-that" activities.

And I am amazed and humbled at His creativity in causing creation to be so beautiful - even from a plain potato.

Reason #15,078 why I love Mr B

2009-04-10T21:30:00.006+08:00

I love how my adorable husband always has this endless pit of energy to organise social activities for our friends. It is not as if he doesn't have enough to deal with.

Mr B has always been a very sociable person right from the day we met. I remember how he would rally his friends together to make dinner during our university days, dishing out tasks to each person and getting the team in sync to prepare a meal. Or getting everyone rallied to hit the midnight movies.

Now, 11 years later, he's still doing the same, despite life piling so many more responsibilities upon his shoulders. I see him coming home deadbeat from having dealt with a tough day at work but all seem to evaporate when he excitedly proposes our next adventure.

BBQ yes? Lunch where? Dinner with others want not? Call XXX and see what they are doing?

He really doesn't mind calling hotels up to make reservations and ask for upgrades. He cheerfully deals with each family's change in requirements even to the extent of reserving ahead for our meals. He seems to naturally always take charge of logistics even during the "event" and ensures that everyone is settled down and all is running smoothly.

He is often even the 'key cook' when the event is not initiated by him and when we go as guests. At times, I will berate him for always being the one who 'works' during functions, cos that leaves me rather alone without his company to enjoy, but when I see how satisfied he is, I know I should hold my tongue and let him be.

I guess that's why he's always been an event organiser in every job that he's held - dealing with annual dinners and other social & recreational events. He's apparently been a 'Social & Recreation events organiser' since he was a young pre-teen, organising neighbourhood swim-cum-BBQs for his mates living within his compound.

This unique trait of Mr B definitely complements my own shortcoming. I would only organise stuff if it didn't take too much time and trouble.

And yet another reason why I am in love with him.

eShopping

2009-04-10T18:47:00.000+08:00

Ok, don't laugh but I have acquired a reputation among some of my friends in Shanghai for being "Taobao Queen".

I wouldn't say that I am really one, it's just that most of my mates are just too busy to sit down and figure out how this amazing eCommerce site works. Not to mention the fact that everything is IN Chinese.

Remember how your Chinese teacher told you to not talk in class and to pay attention? Well, apparently this is WHY we learn Chinese. To Shop.

Or maybe it is just me.

For those who do not know, Taobao is the Chinese equivalent of eBay. Except that its so much more 'cos there is a limit to what you can find in eBay e.g. counterfeits. I've been able to find most things that I can think of from Taobao. Both real AND fakes. The trick is getting the right search term to track the item down. In the right language, of course.

You browse, click and viola! it turns up on your doorstep a few days later. My mates laugh and say its just easier to send me the link and I pass the final goods to them, they say its a much more hassle-free process. Seeessshhhhh.

And since I work full time and try to be a Mom to R as much as I can, that leaves me not much time and opportunity to hit the shops. (You can hear Mr B's sigh of relief in the background, can't you?). I lunch at my desk most work days so that I can leave on the dot to be home for that 1 hour before Miss R hits the sack. So how do I know what's the latest in the shops? You got it. Online research!

Online shopping is actually a habit I acquired during my investment banking days. When I was in the office all day, as in literally, ALL day, EVERYDAY. Glued to my chair and often so stressed out, I used to just go to online shops to check out latest fashions, reviews, haunt sales items etc. Naturally, I became really good at multi-tasking...and eShopping.

So for the un-initiated, here is a Taobao Field Guide in English.

Don't say that I never share my widgets of wisdom!

I made Furikake

2009-04-09T18:28:00.010+08:00

Last weekend, I made Furikake.

Mr B thinks its good. Little R shook her head...but I'll give her the benefit of doubt as she was ill.

I read a few recipes here and there online and decided to just give it a go without really following any recipe and it turned out pretty good. I used carrots, canned tuna (in water, not oil), white sesame seeds and some seaweed. A little sake, mirin, soy sauce and sugar.

The final product had a good texture which goes well with rice and knowing that it didn't contain any preservatives and MSG really made us feel comfortable generously heaping it over our rice.

Really pretty easy, healthy, yummy and so much more affordable than the really expensive packets we buy off the shelf.

N2 class photo

2009-04-09T09:21:00.003+08:00

Here's R's class photo for Nursery 2.

She's been with most of her classmates since pre-N days and they are a really close group.

This lovely picture was taken by one of the moms in class - the amazing thing was she had photoshopped the 3 girls sitting on the mat into this photo as they didn't want to join in.

The wonders of technology.

All's well again

2009-04-08T22:01:00.005+08:00

Little R is well again, after a long fight with the fever monster. She's back to her cheery, cheeky, jovial self, though a much thinner and weaker version. She's not eaten since last Thursday but is slowly, but surely getting a bit more each day. Literally just a bit more.

We're thankful that she fell ill (well, all things equal) during the long holiday weekend which allowed me the time to really be there for her. Since all she wanted was to be held and by me. We're sorry that we had to cancel our short holiday at Sheshan and missed our friends who went dearly.

Thurs 2nd April
She informed nanny at dinner time that she doesn't feel like eating dinner and isn't feeling well. Says her feet and hands are cold, which was true. Asked for her hot water bottle to warm her extremities. I arrive home to cuddle her to bed and discover that she does have a slightly raised temperature of high 37s.

Fri 3rd April
Make her stay home from school due to fever. She was really upset and offered to get up early and voluntarily changed into her unifornm. I said no and she got upset and cried. Insisted that she misses her friends and want to go to school. This school must be doing something right.

Received text message from nanny about 2:30pm that her fever had spike to 39.9 degrees. Decided that it was better to get her seen before the long weekend holiday started and non of the regular doctors would be on duty. Managed to bag an appointment with a Family Doctor at United Family Hospital and rushed off work to pick R up and swing by the hospital.

Poor R was shivering and had glazey eyes by then. Though the eyes did light up when she saw Tom & Jerry in the wait room. Asked Doc to test for Strep Throat as I knew that was going around. Test came back negative after a 15 min wait and I was told to just keep her away from other kids and wait out the fever, which should break soon. And since it was viral, no antibiotics were given.

Sat 4th April
Had a tough night with R as her fever spiked to 40.3degrees. Had to use suppository and Calpol to bring her temp down to a "manageable" 39 degrees. She was hot and I was tired. Her breathing was labored and I willed myself to keep awake to watch over her. Fever did not break at all throughout the day only to hover up and down 39ish degrees. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch on Thursday and her weight was falling. She didn't even want milk - which is her all-time-hands-down favorite.

Sun 5th April
After yet another tough night battling temperature in the 40s and more suppositories and Calpol, we decided to take her into ER in the night as her temps just refused to back down. ER was surprisingly busy that night and we were blessed enough to be able to bag the last private curtained off area. ER Ped was quite distrubed by R's glazy eyes and mentioned her tummy was rather distended - probably from gastric wind for the lack of food.

Her temp. registered at a high of 39.4 when we went into the ER and we anxiously waited for it to come down after she was given some Motrin. Ped ordered a blood test and R bravely watch the lab technician tediously squeeze her tiny finger for blood droplets. I was counting under my breathe to stop from yelling at him to do a better job. Lab work showed that R's bacterial count was 10 times over the acceptable limit. No wonder the poor dear was fighting such high temps. We were assured that the temps would be managable with the antibiotics, suppositories and calpol routine.

Mon 6 April
Another restless night for R and I. Fever did NOT come down, and was still in 40s. Decided to ring her Ped in SG who adviced us to shorten the timespan between fever medications and to take more baths each day, once after every medication is administered. Poor R screamed when I held her down in the tub for her shower, teeth chattering, tears streaming down her small face and crying mama.

Her blocked nose has intensified and this made it hard for her to breathe. I sat up with her most of the night to watch her gape for air and try to work a position with her (her lying on my belly, kangeroo hold etc) so that she can catch some winks.

Tues 7 April
The long awaited 5th day that every doc thinks the fever will break. I anxiously check her temps when my eyes flickered open about 6am. Temp is down! Praise the Lord! Nose is still very blocked but hey, at least fever is gone! I go to work with a lighter heart though it pains me to see how skinny this girl has become. She's still not eating and looks pale but at least I know she's on the road to recovery. She asked to go to her last Edudrama class for the term in the afternoon and I let her, though asked Nanny to keep a close eye on her and to take our thermometer along. We went home together that evening and I took her to have some chicken rice at Frankie's since she said that's all she wanted to eat. She ended up taking 4 spoonfuls of rice and 3 pieces of chicken. I shamefully ate the rest.

Wed 8 April
She's back to school today and she's so happy. She still looks really pale and is still not eating. I asked her teachers to please keep an extra eye on her since she looked like she was going to collapse any moment. I return home from work to find that her spirits are back up again - she's her usual happy, cheery, cheeky self! Albeit all she ate today was some chicken pieces and a muffin.

I'm so glad my daughter is alright again. And now to catch a little sleep.

Psalms 1:3

2009-04-08T21:44:00.004+08:00

Psalms 1:3

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,

bearing fruit each season without fail.

Their leaves never wither,

and in all they do, they prosper.

This is the verse that we had chosen for our wedding and marriage.

I know that He is blessing us with plenty for every season that we go through together. I thank God that He has indeed caused us to prosper in many, many ways - not just tangibles, but the intangibles as well.

I am grateful for what we have today and look forward to receiving what He has in store for us in the coming days.

Sharing from the heart

2009-04-05T14:18:00.003+08:00

I was once asked why I will want to publicly share about my experiences in Trying for Another Baby so publicly.

To me, it was a rather straightforward thought process which is really two-fold: as a record for myself of the journey and to encourage someone else out there who may have felt as alone as I do/did at times. It is a situation that can be rather hard to share and yet more common than most of us think it to be.

I am often encouraged by life's stories that others share. These testimonies could have been shared by my inner circle of family and friends or even complete strangers - they still touch me.

I am always curious to learn how others react to situations and how they managed to resolve/cope/face different situations. So being able to find out through online forums and reading of other's blogs etc have helped me in coming to terms with this situation.

There is nothing noble about the idea - just plain and simple sharing.

2009-04-02T14:37:00.000+08:00

List of useful parenting sites

2009-04-02T06:21:00.003+08:00

I got this from a mothering forum that I'm on and thought to share. This list contains some interesting sites on the parenting journey

Generic sites
http://www.babyhopes.com
http://www.babycenter.com
http://www.babynames.com
http://fertilityfriend.com (For Online Charting of BBT too)

Gynaes and hospitals in Singapore
http://www.gynaecologist.sg/
http://sggynae.blogspot.com/
http://www.thomsonmedical.com/
http://www.kkh.com.sg/

Trying to conceive
Cheap UK OPK/HPT Strips Seller on eBay http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/fertilityplan/ - Pose Questions to Doctors live and Get Responses Fast http://www.fertilityties.com/
About Ovulation http://medihub.org/index.php/main/art/124
Soy Affecting Men’s Fertility http://health.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20080724-78485.html
Ways to Increase Fertility http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/baby/Babymaking-101--10-ways-to-increase-your-chances-of-conception-5668.htm
Conceiving Boy or Girl http://www.babyhopes.com/pages.php?pageid=23
Food to eat to Conceive Baby Boy (Alkaline) http://www.energiseforlife.com/list_of_alkaline_foods.php
Herbal Allies for Pregnancy Problems http://www.susunweed.com/Article_Pregnancy_Problems.htm
Royal Jelly for Fertility http://natural-fertility-info.com/royal-jelly.html http://aboutroyaljelly.com/
Douching is Bad http://www.4woman.gov/faq/douching.cfm
Photos of Cervix http://www.beautifulcervix.com/photos-of-cervix/ http://www.beautifulcervix.com/photos-of-cervix/pre-and-post-coitus/
About EWCM http://www.justmommies.com/articles/cervical-charting.shtml http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/store/cm.htm
About Implantation Bleeding http://www.justmommies.com/articles/implantation-bleeding.shtml
About OPK & HPT http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html
Difference between OPK & HPT http://www.justmommies.com/articles/opk-as-hpt.shtml - Sperm Morphology http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/abnormal-sperm-morphology.html - About Uterus http://www.advancedfertility.com/uterus.htm

Pregnancy
Free Online Reading of “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0761121323/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-9555474-4691025#reader-page
Pregnancy Week-By-Week http://pregnancy.about.com/od/yourbaby/a/pregcalendar.htm - Spotting During Pregnancy http://www.newmomsforum.com/spotting-during-pregnancy/ http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_spotting_brown_common_in_early_pregnancy
Foods To Avoid http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/nutritioninpregn/a/aaabavoidfood.htm
Eating Seafood during Pregnancy http://www.obfocus.com/nutrition/Seafood.htm
Eating Papayas during Pregnancy http://health.yahoo.com/pregnancy-resources/papaya-avoid-during-pregnancy/healthwise--tn9779.html
Fish Oil for Mummies http://health.articlesarchive.net/the-right-fish-oil-for-pregnant-women.html
Vitamins and Supplements during Pregnancy http://www.dumex.com.my/feeding_and_nutrition/pregnancy_nutrition/article/vitamins_and_supplements_in_pregnancy Self-Teaching of Baby
http://www.sgparenting.com
http://www.childbrain.org
Video on Epidural http://video.about.com/pregnancy/During-an-Epidural.htm
Asherman’s Syndrome http://www.ashermans.org
Baby / Toddler Food www.wholesomebabyfood.com www.wholesometoddlerfood.com
怀孕后每天呕吐，有什么办法可改善？ http://www.zaobao.com/fk/fk081106_504.shtml
妇产科医生也说怀孕不足三个月不要张扬 http://health.zaobao.com/pages8/healthy081027.shtml
Gender Prediction http://baby2see.com/gender/prediction.html?ageselect=26&monthselect=Oct&genderform=Predict http://www.babygenderprediction.com/needle-gender-prediction.html j012-2%2C00.html,http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/pbabyprep/0,,j012-2,00.html http://baby2see.com/gender/prediction.html http://pregnancy.about.com/od/genderpredictions1/qt/ringtest.htm http://www.webwomb.com/chinesechart.htm
Myths http://www.miriamstoppard.com/article.asp?aid=86 http://www.pregnancycrawler.com/modules.php?name=Headlines&file=article&sid=645 http://www.babyzone.com/babynames/china.asp http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/dummies/myths.html http://www.onhealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51798&pf=3&page=2 http://www.family4life.com/nursenana/myths.htm http://www.lifespan.org/services/specials/myths/pregnancy.htm http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthnews/8881/12-pregnancy-myths-worth-ignoring http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Myths-Obstetrician-Demystifies-Conception/dp/1569246955

Food needs during this time
Asian Recipes http://kuali.com/recipes/
How To Make Chicken Essence http://neckredrecipes.blogspot.com/2007/07/homemade-pure-essence-of-chicken.html
Pig Trotters in Vinegar http://www.momsinmind.com.sg/classics.html http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=94531 http://sg.theasianparent.com/articles/Confinement_Recipes
Nasi Lemak Recipe http://www.rasamalaysia.com/labels/Malaysian%20Food%20Recipes.html
Food Blog http://singapuradailyphoto.blogspot.com http://cookwithpassion.blogspot.com/ - Confinement Recipes http://momsinmind.blogspot.com/2007/09/confinement-recipes.html - Thermal Cookwear Recipes http://www.thermalcookware.com/main.php?mod=Dynamic&id=23
Ingredients Dictionary http://www.paulaschoice.com.sg/KNOW/know_a.html
Western Food Recipes http://www.recipezaar.com

Is spring here?

2009-04-01T22:32:00.012+08:00

It is officially 1 April today but where is Lady Spring?

We have seen signs of her around - the greens starting to show and elegant flowers starting to deck their latest seasonal fashion....but it it still darn cold.

I have been trying to transit out of my winter coats into spring outfits to not much success. It seems likely that I will need to concede to returning to my stockings-under-pants routine since chilly winds insist on finding their way beneath my clothing.

I want the sun. Though I am sure I will regret it when the hot scorching summer days arrive to Shanghai.

In the meantime, I take comfort in the beautiful flowers that have sprung around Shanghai.

At times at the most unexpected places...amongst old tired looking trees, a dark mangy alley, a hardly used carpark and suddenly a burst of color from the spring forestation. Here's what we saw as we cut through a seldom used carpark and found this glorious sight in front of us.

P.S. I took all the pictures here...Mr B thinks I snitched them from somewhere else

Wanton noodles for breakfast

2009-04-01T17:40:00.012+08:00

So I decided to make some wanton noodles for breakfast last Sunday.

I had gotten the ingredients at the supermarket the evening before, vaguely telling myself that I would make this dish. We had a lunch appointment that day and so Mr B declared that he wasn't going to want any part of this heavy breakfast. So be it - I said.

Daylight arrived and he rolled over and asked for wanton noodles. He's changed his mind apparently. So I trooped to the kitchen and started cooking.

I often cook from memory - recalling how my grandmother slices and marinates, how my mother stir fries, how dad poaches - you know how good cooks love to wax lyrical about their cooking techniques and theories? I've grown up listening to various people around me rambling on about them and they've apparently seeped into my subconciousness.

I find it magical that simple ingredients can come together to create new textures and tastes. It is marvelous.

The dish turned out pretty well. It is a healthy version - well, somewhat...and a lazy version. Probably would make hard core wanton lovers raise their plaques in protest. Yeah, it took me only 15 minutes to put the dish together and the wantons contain...gasp...carrots!

I know its kind of wierd to see carrots in wantons, but I wanted it to be healthy. So armed with some carrots, garlic, minced pork, prawns and some seasonings, I managed to make a whole load of wantons that we ate that morning and froze for future use.

Mr B, an avid cook himself, rolled up his sleeves to prepare the noodle sauce.

Little Rebecca was my wanton-skin-peeler (peel each skin off, fold it into queer shapes and hand it to me).

The end product was yummy and fulfilling. Just check out her pleased-as-a-cat expression.

Too bad she rejected the wantons that she helped make. She declared "eeeee....there're carrots in there!"

No hiding from this child for sure!

Child abduction in Shanghai

2009-03-31T13:07:00.005+08:00

Mr B and I were at a lunch with friends last Sunday and the topic of child abduction was raised.

Are they true? Mr B questioned. For some reason these stories didn't register with him when I did previously relate to him. And the conclusion was: yes, it is true that child abduction in the expat communities does take place in Shanghai - not to the golden haired, blue eyes expatriate children, but to Asian expatriate children that can easily 'traded'.

A recent case that I have been informed of happened in a popular supermarket near our place. This supermarket is heavily patronized by the many expatriates living nearby. We go to the same supermarket too. A Korean mother, who was doing her groceries, suddenly found her son missing. She was clear minded enough to order security to seal all exits and search the entire building. It was a real blessing that she found her son in a male toilet, shaved and with his clothes changed. A real close "shave". (apologies for the pun)

Another case I heard was of a child left in the care of a Chinese nanny as both parents work. The Chinese nanny was approached by a man at the playground to give him the child for a sum of money. He then told her to return back to her home province and not return.

I did ask my Chinese friends if these are such situations are just baseless urban legends. Sad to say, they assured me that it is true, there are child abduction cases even for local children.

I know that its virtually impossible for me to watch over my daughter 24/7/365. There are bound to be times where she has to be left alone or with others that I charge her care to. I know that I can only trust in Him to watch over her, similar to how I can only trust that He will take care of Mr B as he goes about his daily tasks.

One thing I do know is that, having lived away from Singapore for so many years, I no longer take many basic things for granted: security, healthcare, clean air...and my appreciation for what the government has done for Singapore has increased manifold.

Father in heaven, watch over my family as we go about our activities each day. Protect us from harm. Amen.

He was watching over our household

2009-03-28T21:57:00.010+08:00

I came home from work on Wednesday and was immediately struck by the wierd rubbery smell that filled the entire house. Funnily enough, my daughter and our nanny who were playing in the living room could not smell it.

I exclaimed. They countered with a look and "where?" and I told them to please leave the house and come back in again, like I did - maybe then they will smell it.

My daughter literally stuck her head out the door, took two deep breaths and turned her head back in and declared "mama no smell". I then told her to walk out the hallway and told nanny to follow her. So they both went out for about 3 minutes, then came back in and still declared "no smell".

Worried and thinking that maybe it WAS me, I decided to wait till the driver came up to return the keys. When he appeared, I asked if he did smell anything and he quickly exclaimed that he did.

We then tracked it down to the free standing heater that was in the living room and look what we found.

Yeah, it was pretty scary.

I wonder why, if this was burnt, did the radiator not trigger the safety switch. My imagination runs wild going through all the possible what-ifs. I can only say that I am SO thankful that He was watching over our household.

The rubbery burnt smell is still mildly lingering in our house three days after. We've tried opening all the windows and doors and its quite a stubborn stench.

In case you were wondering, it was a Rowenta branded heater, barely 2 years old and only used in the winter and it was a mid priced range, so not like a cheapie. I'll just have to figure out what brand and model to purchase for winter ~~next year~~ end of this year.

Lessons from reading preschool books

2009-03-27T13:35:00.006+08:00

Reb and I catch up on our reading during our 45 minute car ride to school each morning. We read the readers that she brings back from school each day and on most days, we read a couple more from our bookshelf at home.

I love the opportunity to rediscover many of my childhood favorites when I read to her and I realise that many lessons can be learnt from these books - simple life lessons, such as:

You need a Map to find your way when you are lost - Dora the Explorer series
Find yourself a good quality house with solid walls and floors and preferably a chimney, else you may find yourself getting disturbed by unruly passersby- Three little pigs
Location, location, location is key when it comes to real estate - Noddy moves house

and so forth. Really, good lessons for navigating the challenges life brings.

One useful lesson that I thought to share can be found in the book - Big Dog, Little Dog - by P.D Eastman.

It talks about two dogs, Big Dog and Little Dog, who love to do things that are different from each other. For example, Big Dog will paint a side of the house in red, Little Dog will paint the other side in green. One will decide to ski, the other to skate.

So anyway, Big and Little dogs went to the mountain for a trip and checked themselves into a hotel. Big Dog got assigned to a room with a small bed and Little Dog got assigned a room with a big bed. They both tossed and turned and couldn't get to sleep that night and were not happy.

The next morning, while on the morning walk, they discovered that they both had problems sleeping. What could they do? They ask each other. A little bird who happened to be there suggested that they change rooms. And viola - problem solved.

The story ended with the little bird saying - Why make big problems out of little problems?

How true.

I wonder how much of this got to the 3 year old but it sure did sink in with me.

Have you found any interesting life's lessons to share from the books that you read?

2009-03-27T12:34:00.007+08:00

Dear friends,

Thank you so much for dropping me notes about how you are remembering me from various parts of this world.

I am doing alright. We are doing ok.

I am putting my faith in Him and trusting that in His time, things will be prefect, for I know He loves me so much.

I am so encouraged by knowing that so many of you care for me. Continue to keep me (us) in your prayers and let me know if there is anything I too, can pray for you.

Thank you.

Love, me.

Now back to the regular program ... *grin*...sorry, can't help it, just being cheeky as usual.

A gentle reminder on loving someone

2009-03-26T09:29:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, I was reminded to express my love to my husband. That he too needs to feel like he is being courted, desired and loved.

It is rather painful for me to have to be told this - since I know that this knowledge should really be demonstrated by default in my day to day life...shouldn't it?

Busy days and nights translate to a very busy me. I find myself furiously trying to complete each task just so I can get through each day. Unfortunately, this results in lesser attention to Mr B.

To be completely honest, I find it easy to put Mr B's needs aside. He is always out the door the same time as Reb and I are (7:30am) and back home really late, on average 9 to 10pm. He continues to work for another 1.5 to 2.5 hours and falls asleep often later than I do. So really, we don't get to spend much time with each other.

We catch up with each other via text messages, emails or the odd 5 to 10 minute bedside chat. There are days that we are so caught up with our duties that we don't speak to each other through the day. We've tried to enforce regular date nights but they don't work so well for us, so now we go for the impromptu ones - the odd errand run or the occasional dinner out. It has indeed been tough to keep up with each other and find time to slow down to enjoy one another.

So I really appreciate this gentle reminder. From a doctor none the less. To provide more attention to my husband.

With this encouragement, I woke up this morning and furiously prepared a breakfast Bento for him to take to work. Some sliced fragrant pear, pan fried sausages, two de-shelled pigeon eggs and a slice of toast. I also packed him a box of mixed nuts for him to snack at work and two tumblers of white fungus dessert, one to share with his friend. Yeah, its like a school yard over there ... and Mr B has got a habit of sharing his food. I topped it off with 3 homemade cupcakes that I had whipped up a couple of days ago and included 2 bananas for him.

After hurriedly packing my own breakfast and lunch AND feeding the little one who decided that she felt like circling around me and getting in my way, I rushed off to changed and we set off for our day together.

My cup was already filled to the brim having the knowledge that I had accomplished what I set out to do in the short span of 30 minutes. What caused it to overflow was when I opened my inbox at work and found a note of thanks from Mr B.

This short one-liner email touched me deeply and has given us a chance to return to our dating days for that short moment - when nothing clouds the expression of appreciation that we have of each other, before "adult" life took over.

It also brings to mind the lessons that my mother has always been teaching me all these years - that food ministry is a very powerful one. It is why she taught my brother and I to appreciate the art of cooking at a very young age and why she constantly encourages us to use food to touch others.

So yeah - that's my revelation for today.

Progress at work

2009-03-25T23:53:00.002+08:00

A mentor passed this on to me many moons ago and a copy resides on my hard drive as it left an impression on me. Cute isn't it?

Xin Wang - Cantonese cafe Food

2009-03-25T12:27:00.012+08:00

A good friend introduced me to this really yummy place with the best wanton noodles I've had in Shanghai so far. The runner up being the wanton noodles from Royal China.

Food here is so good that this particular friend will send her husband down to pack food home, if the familydid not want to venture outdoors. Yeah, I was impressed upon hearing that too.

A good eatery for me must have good food, of course, be clean and have no smoke since I feel suffocated when I am that environment. And Xin Wang fits the bill to a T.

We were there for lunch on Sunday at 12:40pm and had to wait in queue for about 15 minutes for a table of 3. I thought that turnover was pretty quick given that this place must have had about 80 tables or so across its duplex setting.

Service is very good by China standards, friendly and attentive wait staff, efficient food flow and decent order-food arrival service times. The menu is heavy on Chinese food, focusing on Cantonese cafe offerings - such as gong zai meen (instant noodles) + various toppings - with a sprinkling of Shanghainese dishes.

They serve the bread version of Cha Siew buns that is very tender and not too sweet. Its pretty unique as it matches the Cha Siew with sauteed onions, a rather unique combination I thought. I also like that Xin Wang allows bun orders by number - so we could order the exact number of buns we needed and did not have to feel like we were overladen with extra food. Their Pineapple (Po Lo) buns are also good - especially if you like the thick chunk of butter in the middle. They have to be eaten hot though, as it wasn't as yummy when it cooled down - unlike those that I've had in Hong Kong that are good even when chilled.

Mr B and I shared a bowl of wanton noodle that came with 3-4 large wantons, a roast duck/soya sauce chicken rice combo, a Xin Wang Huai Hai Lu spring roll special, roast pork (R's fav...and mine), cha siew buns, pineapple or po lo buns and a horlicks! Quite a bit. The bill came up to be RMB145 for the meal. We didn't think it was super cheap but not extremely inexpensive either. A fair price for the decent offering. Not REAL Hong Kong standards but at least there's the option of having some food that's nearly there.

Xin Wang serves breakfast from 7am daily, a real plus for mothers who drop their kids off at school and need somewhere decent to breakfast. It also only apparently shuts at 5 am, probably to cater to the clubbers at Babyface next door. (lol).

I can't wait to go back again.

兴旺茶餐厅
Building across from Pu An (Ni Hong children's market)
Opposite Lane Crawford
I know it doesn't help much but I really can't recall properly*roftl

Orange rice is yummy

2009-03-24T10:43:00.006+08:00

In a bid to get us, that is, mother and child, to take more fruits and vegetables, I've started to serve colored rice for our meals.

It is really quite simple and I wonder why I had not done this earlier.

Grate carrots as finely as possible. Use a microplane grater if you have one. I have one, but can't locate it, so used a small blender to mesh the carrot.

Mix the grated carrot with white rice to sit in the rice cooker for a few minutes before serving. The grated carrot can even be mixed in at the very last moment before service.

R loves it and I sometimes shape it for her with rice moulds, at times incorporating sesame seeds and seaweed bits in there. We have also done purple/light pink rice with cabbages last Sunday and it wasn't as successful as I didn't manage to grate the cabbage as finely as I should and there was a distinct "green" taste to it. We have so much fun with it that veggie eating Mr B wants his own share of colored rice as well.

This natural way of coloring rice is very popular with Bento making hobbyists such as this entry from Just Bento but I've modified it slightly to leave out the oil and salt and microwave portion of it and find that it works well for me. It really makes food a lot more fun, both during preparation and when eating it. This coloring works well with both brown and white rice - give it a try!

An injured Abigail

2009-03-23T21:16:00.005+08:00

I know that I have a really creative AND caring daughter when I came home today and found this on my chair. She's Abigail, for those who dont' know and she's my daughter's favorite doll. She actually resembles Rebecca when she was much younger. Its uncanny but we've received many comments on how much they look alike and where did I get her custom made.

Anyhow, Abigail sleeps with Rebecca and is Rebecca's playmate. Apparently Abi hurt herself today. I asked how and got a "hit the wall, the furniture, here...there...everywhere" in a very serious tone as reported by my darling.

We only managed to remove the ~~sticky tape~~ bandages just before bedtime, after spending a few minutes convincing Rebecca that Abigail has recovered from her "injury".

Good role playing? I think so. Must give the credit to her school for sure!

Back on heels again

2009-03-23T14:58:00.005+08:00

I am happy that I am able to go onto my ~~stilts~~, sorry high heels again. It has been nearly a month I think and its not been a really nice feeling. I really rely on my artificial height to balance the constant broadening and widening of my physical shape and being constantly on flat shoes does not make me feel elegant by the slightest bit.

Honestly, I don't think my ankle has really healed. We went for a massage on Saturday night and I had forgotten to inform the massuse of my weakened limb and had to grin in slight agony when she flexed it. Its really slight though but noticeable none the less.

Why do I still persist though? I really can't take being short and dumpy any longer so yes, in essence, I am a little concious of my looks. Actually my shoes are my best assets in my wardrobe so without them, I feel like superwoman without her skintight lycra suit.

So there. Now to ensure that I walk REALLY carefully.

Reorganisation at work

2009-03-23T14:31:00.004+08:00

We are undergoing an operational review of our department at work. This has caused the workplace to be, at times, become a lot more tense than it has before. As someone who's been on this team a lot longer than many of my mates, I have become a touch point and I realise what I say and how I behave in reaction to the changing situation carries a lot of weight.

Personally, I think reorganisation can be a good thing. If its done in a fair and proper manner. While I am aware that the definition of 'fair' can be subjective, I think that the end game of reorganisation is to help streamline processes and achieve better, more efficient results.

Well, at the end of the day, I can't tell if I will still have a role to play in my team after the reorg. I pray that I do, but I am encouraged by the people who surround me and remind me to leave this situation in His hands...that even if I do get worked out of the team, that the consequence maybe a good thing as it will allow me to have some space to focus on other aspects of my life. I agree that its best not to fret about it, or try NOT to fret TOO much about it, and continue to just do what I need to to do to get my work done.

I just hope that no one in the team that I know and care about will have to leave though, cos I actually do enjoy working with each one of them. Nice, responsible and loyal mates. Very rare, at least from my experience. Sounds like the ideal team doesn't it?

Either way, we've been told that we'll know the results of the team by the end June, early July. So I can only wait.

Shortened work week coming to an end

2009-03-17T11:57:00.004+08:00

I have been taking every Friday off for the past few weeks and I find that it does me a lot of good. For one, I feel like my work/life balance is much better and I am better able to enjoy time spent with my daughter and husband. The rationale side of me reminds me that its just 8 more hours of work - not that big a difference! But the emotional side of me loves the idea of not being at work!

It is coming to an end though, just two more Fridays left.

Mr B has suggested that, since I like this arrangement so much, why not just use up my leave for this year this way. It is a pretty tempting idea but it'll need more thought.

Bugs all around

2009-03-16T12:42:00.003+08:00

The normal bug flow in our household tend to be:

1. Bug at school > my kid
2. Bug at work > me
3. Bug outside > either kid or me

We are seldom sick together and Mr B, well, he's the one with the anti-sickie genes. He is seldom sick at all. This time around, however, it was a Bug at school > my kid > me > Mr B nearly down too. We all have the same symptoms: runny nose, scratchy throat and dry cough.

It doesn't bode well at night for me since I have to comfort little R in the wee night hours and end up not getting any sleep myself. I worry and fret, sing and pray for her whilst she fusses at night but come daytime, she's right as rain, not whiney and as excitable and energetic as usual. I sometimes wish she DID come with a handbook :)

Traditional kebayas

2009-03-15T20:28:00.010+08:00

I have always been in love with traditional ethnic fashion and delight in discovering new ways that the traditional fare is being interpreted.

Look at the Kebayas by Boutique Hana in Indonesia. Here on the left is the Hijau Mellisa. I love the color and neckline, especially the feathers at the wrists.

Each piece by this boutique is so unique and exquisite and filled with incredibly delightful details. Each is like a work of art, masterfully crafted to show off the feminine form at its best. Each curve is artfully manipulated to ensure that the eye is led from one intricate detail to another.

It is really a testament to how beautiful fashion can be.

25 random firsts

2009-03-15T02:38:00.002+08:00

This is something that I did for my facebook after being tagged by a friend.

1. Starred in my first concert in K2 at Zion Kindergarten's annual concert playing the role of Cinderalla. The teacher had said that whoever could show up with a pair of silver shoes the next day will get to be the Princess. My awesome dad drove the whole of Singapore that night searching for such a pair and couldn't find out. Remember that this was the early 80s -- so glittery children's shoes were very scarce. He then bought a pair of white party shoes and spent the whole night spray painting them in layers just so I could play the lead. One of the many mighty ways dad has shown his love for me. This is also my very first addiction to the stage which I still love today.

2. Made my first dollar temping at the new defunct Singtel Paging. I was a Customer Service Officer aka Call to Complain Center with my bestie and I after A Levels. I spent a good 3 months showing the perm staff up by diligently fielding call after call from customers. What irritating temps we must have been. This job inadvertently landed me my first permanant job doing M&A/Corporate Finance in the Media, Telecoms & Technology sector. What a blessing it was!

3. My first boyfriend is now my husband. It wasn't for a lack of suitors but more the case of why fix something that's not broken and yes, I do love him.

4. My first national competition representing my school was for something really 'cina' ... Its an annual competition called the National Chinese Essay Recitation Competition and I was selected for this competition from Sec 2 to Sec 4. We used to meet during our hour long school assemblies in remote parts of our school with the teacher in charge to practice. We even had to ensure that our facial expressions and rhythmn of the head sways were the same. Our best result was the 3rd nationally. Imagine….me! in a CHINESE competition!!!

5. My first barbie was only gifted to me when I was nearly Primary 5, or 11 years old. I recall secretly admiring the barbie dolls my friends had and wishing that I too had one. My parents, who were not very well off nor indulgent, only gave me one when the fad was almost over. Come to think about it, I never had many toys and now shower R with so many toys since it is a good excuse for me to play too. Talk about making up for lost time!

6. I first realise how painful it is to hammer oneself with a real hammer when I was 3 or 4 years old. We used to live in a zinc roof home at Jalan PayoLai near Paya Labar in Singapore, a home that my grandpa squatted on (those were the days) and my dad and grandpa built an extension to their home for my parents' marital home when they got married. I recall being the ever helpful child trying to hammer a nail into the wooden walls like my dad was doing and totally missing my mark and hitting hard on my fingernail. It turned all black and I refused to let anyone near it. Dad had to release the "bad blood" only after I cried myself to sleep. I now stay clear of such objects and feign helplessness when faced with DIY projects...unless I am left with totally NO other option.

7. I saw my first sheep and cow when I was 17 as mom, brother and I travelled to the UK for a holiday. I recall my mom yelling in amazement at how big their udders were. Yes, it was a good thing she yelled it in Chinese and not many people understood what she was saying.

8. Attended by first orchestra concert at 7 at the Victoria Theatre in Singapore. Mom and I had a mom/daughter date and she bought me some pastel colored candid almonds to last me through the concert. It was such a lovely day that I can still vividly recall it till today. She can't really remember the details though, I did ask her recently.

9. I first travelled independently when I was 19. It was a flight that was taking me from Manchester, UK to London, UK to Chicago, US to Urbana-Champaign (US). The flight from Manchester to London landed late causing me to miss all my connecting flights. I remember calling my dad in Singapore asking for some comfort only to be told that there is nothing he can do. Its the first time I realise that its just ME now, alone to make my way to where I need to go. At that point, I recall being appreciative of my parents who've always been holding my hands, even when I didn't want to be held. And yes, thank God for ICC (an international dialing card from Singapore)

10. My first experience counciously baring normally covered body parts to another person was at 20. (Kiddy experiences don't count). It was for a breast cyst and I was having it looked at. Having it looked at by my parents' friend compounded the embarressment factor. Years later, having popped a kid and gone through the joys of stirups, I can easily bare all without blushing. In 3 seconds flat. Want to see?

11. My first car was a tiny 1000 cc green Subaru I inherited from my mother. When mom was driving it, it was termed "the Lord's Army tank", somehow when it got its name changed to "Little Turtle - or小乌龟 when it got to my hands. Go figure.

12. The first subject that I failed in school was Math and the precendence continued throughout my academic years. To this day, I need to stop and use my fingers to count the number of zeros there are in a number before I can decide it its a million or billion figure. And yes, I was an ex-investment banker. Worked in New York. Who used to fail Math. What can I say? Only by God's grace are such miracles possible.

13. Wrote my first article for "public eyes" for free a few years ago. It was a favor for a dear friend who was working on getting a career magazine published. It was always my dream to write and though my language skills and style are pretty much all over the place, I was uber pleased to have seen the article published. I hope to have something significant written and published some day.

14. First showed off my underwear in public when I was 14 in Secondary 2 when I was Captain Planet for a school assembly. I wore my mom’s leotards and tights I recall pulling an underwear (or was it shorts) over that to re-create the authentic Captain Planet look. How crazy was I? And how could my friends let me?

15. I formally learnt my first foreign language at University with this lady from UK and it was Japanese. I recall having to memorize vocabulary lists and Mr B would tease me saying that it sounded like noise that a ghost would make (鬼叫 – kui kio). I still remember some terms today and I’ll show them off to you the next time we have a meal in a Japanese restaurant.

16. The first person that I recall losingis my maternal grandma, who I dearly miss even today. I was 12 and I even recall the song – Give Thanks – that we sang at her funeral. She was the one who brought me up as my parents both worked full time and taught me how to play five stones, taught me my spelling and provided me with so many lovely childhood memories. I miss you Popo.

17. The first boy I had my way with was the son of my parents’ friends. My parents used to leave my brother and I at their home as they went for bible study (since we were so disruptive) and this boy used to be one of the most irritating thing on the planet. (He’s since calmed down a lot). J had pushed me over the edge so much that I stormed into HIS mother’s kitchen, took out the wok cover, filled it with water and poured it all over HIS head in HIS own home. Needless to say we all got into trouble when the adults came home.

18. My first dog was a stray dog that mom had gotten from some supplier. He was an all black dog and I christened him Prince. My parents naturally butchered the name and called him Blackie or 小黑 (Little Black One). He came as a puppy and I used to love cuddling and playing with him. He used to bite holes in my dad’s pants as dad left for work each day and try to pounce on the table to reach the bread. These were pre-doggy school days, mind you, so I guess we never knew better. Mom had to give him away one day as he was turning really aggressive whenever our neighbor’s daughter appeared as she would throw stones and sticks at him and mom feared that one day she would get bitten. I am still waiting to move into a place big enough so that I can have two dogs and a few cats around me.

19. My first cosmetic procedure done is my current correction with dental braces. I’ve always wanted it done and figured that better now than later. It has been almost 4.5 months and counting.

20. My first luxury goods purchase s were made during my high days in when I was still in banking. I recall shopping at Barneys and Saks Fifth for lovely shoes and clothing, but even then was careful to only purchase them on sale. My luxury buys nowadays have been scaled down to the occasional face cream.

21. The first time I led worship at a service was in University Year 1 at the Bradford Chinese Community Church. I remember being especially anxious since I was normally the ‘transparency changer’ in the worship committee at church but a fellow brother encouraged me saying that I must have faith that God will use me. It sure was intimidating standing on the pulpit. No….never had a chance to lead worship since then though I do help out in the Chinese ministry that mom is involved in but only as a background singer.

22. I first realized how old I am now when I started receiving resumes and interviewing candidates who were born in the 1980s. Eeks.

23. First encounter with acupuncture was at Huashan Hospital in Shanghai last year and as my friend promised, it doesn’t hurt!

24. My first piano exam was in Primary 2 at 8 years old for Grade 1 which I passed. I subsequently tried to take Grade 5 when I was in High School and failed miserably, but 1 mark. Its always been my goal to try to get my certificates since then. One day. I will.

25. My first child was born in 2005. She came as a total surprise but has since given me and Mr B so much joy that I can’t imagine life without her (well, of course I can but its just so much better when she’s around). I pray that God will gift us a brood more and multiply our joy many times over!

Brotherly love

2009-03-15T02:26:00.005+08:00

Siblings are great aren't they?

I have a brother who is 6 years younger than I am and he means the world to me. He's currently working towards his PhD in Seattle and we don't get to talk to one another as often as we'd like to but we somehow still manage to get along very well.

I have been feeling rather down for a few days now and have been finding tonight especially hard to get through. I did think of giving him a tinkle since it would be his morning there but decided that the phone was too far away from my bed. PTL! My brother appeared on MSN and we managed to "speak" about 5 minutes before he had to rush back to his work.

Its amazing how he can soothe me and knows what to say and do to ensure my comfort buttons get pushed. I can be so direct in my communication with him and tell him what exactly is my problem, not fearing that he will judge me for it. He "pats" me and tells me things will be ok and that I am a good person and that he loves me. I ask him to pray for me and I know that he is. I feel much better after our talk.

He's an awesome sibling. Really he is. And I miss him sooooo much.

Preschool Chinese: Reviewing 火星娃识汉字

2009-03-07T20:29:00.007+08:00

I've been looking for an interesting way to get Rebecca to recognise more Chinese words. Most educators I've talked to agree that word recognition is very possible for a young child since Chinese characters look very much like pictures, and does not operate in the same phonetic way that English words do. We do have some Chinese flashcards that I really need to ressurect and organise a way to get myself be more disciplined in doing them with her.

I came across a very active Chinese parenting forum and one poster recommended this DVD series called 火星娃识汉字 (Alien Frog Recognises Chinese Words - literal translation). I went onto Youtube to search for it, nothing. I was a little dissappointed until I recalled one of the researches that a team member had worked on called Tudou.com, which is a Chinese equivalent to Youtube. I did a search there on this series and found a slew of clips.

I happily downloaded 2 sessions and watched them with Rebecca and Mr B. Mr B and I had a good laugh on some of the characters as they seem to be cartoon illustrations of typical Chinese elders from ancient Kungfu series. Some of story plots were also quite funny and there was a purple grape-looking character with red hair and a drippy nose who seemed to be doing a lot of word presentation.

These two sessions seemed to help Rebecca a little. She was quite happy to recite the words as they were presented and surprised Mr B and I when she cited two words independently. A fluke? We're not sure but pleasantly pleased none the less.

Some things that did bother us about this series after watching 2 episodes include:

reference to swords, guns which we've been trying to teach R to stay away from
use of phrases like stupid (笨蛋)
average first 10-12 minutes of each 22 minute session was spent on a story type of storyline and is rather longwinded (we got bored, R just watched), only the last 10 minutes or so were spent on introducing the characters

Some things that we did like include:

52 episodes, seems rather complete
R seemed to respond well to the presentation
Showed how the Chinese characters evolved pictorially

The series is quite cheap though, its only RMB130 for a set from Dangdang.com

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Found this to be pretty interesting, but can't seem to locate the originals anywhere: 动画识字 series.

Watching a sleeping child

2009-03-07T14:44:00.004+08:00

I recall reading a post by popular blogger Karen Cheng on observing our child(ren) sleep and I remember thinking how much Karen's thoughts resonates with me.

I often watch Rebecca in sleep since doing so helps soothe my soul and comforts the guilt-laden mothering emotions that constantly swirl inside of me.

I love straightening her blanket, patting her hair, soothing her forehead and lightly kissing her cheeks. I enjoy watching both her chubby hands curled up under the cheek that is resting on the pillow and smile knowing that she had inherited her cat-curl sleep posture from me. The ins and outs of her gentle rhythmic breaths forces my own to stop its whirlwind pants from a busy day, slowing me down to depths of peace and clam that only my child can bring.

There are days when Rebecca seems on the move all the time, as it is with most 3 year olds and it is only the night time that she quieten down to rest. Her naughty days can at times seem especially trying and it is only with sleep that I remember what an angel she is and can be.

I am sometimes overwhelmed with a desire to wake her up to tell her how much I love her as I watch her sleep. I do whisper them to her ear and at times, she nods in acknowledgement or opens her sleep laden eyes and responds with a "I love you too", before drifting back to sleep.

At times, she may fall asleep with a slight furrow on her brow, especially on days that I am not around to put her to bed from a late night at work or social event. I notice how the furrow disappears when I return and tell her I am back home, and how amazingly her body seems to give a sigh of relief that I am home.

I do have some photos that I have taken when she is asleep but similar to Karen, find them too personal to share. Do you watch your loved ones sleep? I'll share my thoughts on watching Mr B sleep another day. For now, I'm going to go back to staring at Rebecca at sleep on my bed for a rare Saturday nap.

An Ayi in our Shanghai life

2009-03-05T21:18:00.014+08:00

One thing that I am grateful of in Shanghai is the abundance and relative ease of access of household help. Typically known as Ayi (阿姨), these home helpers can be that much needed extra hand or ticket to sanity when things get tough. It leaves family members time to focus their limited time on other things that may matter to them more. At the very least, it provides families with the option to seek help from a third party if they want to.

Sharing an intimate part of one's family can be rather daunting. Intrusive will be another word for this. After all, having someone in a person's home over an extended period of time does open access to familiarity, or worse, intimacy. I don't think there is another word to describe this relationship since most helpers have access to our underwear and the drawers they are kept in, not to mention become privy to possibly uncover the "secret hiding places" where we squirrel away the most deepest, darkest secrets from the public eye, not that I have any.

I have always had household help for a large portion of my life and my parents were always very careful to teach my brother and I the need for us to treat helpers with respect and yet maintain a certain level of formality with them. In short, helpers should never enter the "intimate family circle" that we are privileged to be a part of.

In practical terms, this meant that we would be polite and respectful when we ask for help from them and address them with appropriate tone of voice and choice of words. It also means that we accord them their monthly wages as promised, not more, not less. We made it clear that we will not advance any money to them and they should not even think of asking. We also make clear that they will need to be mindful of their responsibilities and do their part in protecting the household.
Proper meals, medical care and clean and decent rest areas were always part of their privilege. We rejoiced with them when their children did well in school, gushed over pictures they received from home and prayed for them when their family at home fell sick. Over the years, we've had our share of good and not-so-suitable helpers and with each one, we learnt how to refine our employment styles and people management skills.

However, my nearly five year stint in Shanghai has taught me many new helper employment skills for the Chinese helper can generally exude different behaviours that even I, as exposed as I am to household helpers, could not anticipate. I've found that household helpers here are very sensitive to money, and its not like they are paid very much lesser than the previous helpers that we've employed in Singapore. In fact, given that so many of them work on an hourly basis, they earn a whole lot more than a vast proportion of helpers who work in Singapore, dollar for dollar. So its really wierd when ayis start telling me that they know of so and so who's being paid more or when I hear stories of friends who pay a whole lot more for their help. As we Singaporeans may say: spoil market.

A friend remarked over dinner one night that Chinese helpers really have it good. They are tucked up in bed by 8 or 9pm and up only at 7am in the morning. Many who take care of household chores do not have to deal with childcare matters, since either another helper is hired for that or the matron of the household cover that duty. In Singapore, many helpers work till late and are awake really early as often times the house is bigger, there are more people in the household and more chores, children leave for the school bus at 6:30am and so helpers need to be up as early as 5am which leaves them really not much rest.

My experienced with helper's expectations in China has been a rather different one. We've come across helpers who refuse to hand wipe the floors or even iron, despite us trading in one tedious chore for another and given them a discounted to-do list. We've also had a certain local Shanghainese helper who used to habitually sit down uninvited with my husband and I during dinner time, only to dominate the conversation and regal us with tales and complains from her day.

We've had a helper who would kick back and watch television shows till we came home and once told us on our arrival home, that there would be no dinner served that night as there was no more rice in the kitchen. It did not occur to her that she could go across the street to get some rice or call either Mr B or myself to seek a solution. Or another who would follow me around the house talking to me about everything under the sun when I was clearly trying to seek some peace and solace. I am sure that almost every expat family who has a helper could probably share their ayi anecdotes and someone really ought to write a manual on how-to-manage-house-help and collate some of these experiences to share.

Our current part time helper in Shanghai has been with us for more than 4 years and though she's not the best, I appreciate that she knows when to talk and when not to. Honestly, I do. She knows how we like for her to manage some chores and errands and when to consult us for our input. Even from the start, she was sensitive to our standard of cleanliness and she knew how we expected her to honor her responsibilities and complete her work before she left, not always all good, sometimes a little-hurriedly-and-so-shoddy(偷工减料) but overall, decent.

That's not to say that everything about her is Mary Poppins perfect. There are things that she does which bug me: like how she constantly destroys my beloved clothes with her ironing, sometimes "forgetting" to tell me about the hole she ironed in my new blouse (I've always told her to tell me, I wouldn't and have never scolded her when she is upfront about it, but will scold her if she tried to hide it and I found out) or that she thinks I don't know when she tries to sneak in slightly later and sneak out slightly earlier ... which I've counted can shave off a good half day work for every 1 week's time put in at our home. Sneaky.

It also amuses me to watch her dissappointed expression when she sees that either Mr B or myself are home unexpectantly during the week. She would at times go to the extent of whispering to Nanny to double check presence at home - how long will we be home, if we are planning to head out etc. I know that Nanny will sometimes trick her by shutting our room door and pretending that I am inside or that I am expected to be home really soon, just so that Ayi completes her chores seriously. Recently, Ayi even provided me with a diagnosis of my twisted ankle after having helped herself to a look at my xray, which was in an envelope and placed away for safekeeping. I was dumbfounded as this was a new level to the transparency between the employer-employee relationship. Where is my privacy? Don't think Ayi thinks this exist.

All in all, I'm truly thankful for this extra pair of hands which allows me to better manage our home here in Shanghai. I am glad that we do have an option of relegating the chores that we prefer not to spend time on to someone else. I know that in many other places, such help can be really cost prohibitive. Our current Ayi is really a sweet lady and even though she ruffles my feathers at times, she is, in general, a gem of a helper. We are indeed blessed.

A singular love for dogs

2009-03-03T15:09:00.006+08:00

I love dogs.

So much that I used to spend more time with the dogs during visits to other people's home than I would with the hosts. I love dogs of any shape and size and used to pour over children's encylopedias filled of dogs and descriptions of how to identify and care for them.

I used to live in a house that had a nice size for a few dogs to live in, unfortunately, dad is very garden-proud - you know, the green version of being house proud. He flatly refused to have any dogs in the household unless its over his dead body. Correction, "until you have your own home", was what he used to say.

Mom did manage to sneak one in when I was 15 years old. One of her suppliers had found a litter of pariah (mixed breed) dogs in a construction site and passed one to her. I was overjoyed to see the little puppy who was black and shiny and so loving.

I named him Prince. My dad called him "Blackie" in tribute to the common naming practices in the kampungs (villages) of yesteryear. My mother butchered his name to Xiao Hei 小黑(little black). This naming convention runs in the family even today. Here's another example: we name our daughter Rebecca, my mother calls her 小小 (small small) and our inner family circle calls her Kaka. Its a genetic flaw, I tell you.

Anyway, Prince grew really quickly and rapidly became the first thing each of us looked for when we arrived home. He was an extremely cheeky dog and would get up to all sorts of mischief. Unfortunately we had a neighbour who's kid was rather mean and used to throw stones at Prince and pretend smack him when he was younger, even though we told her not to. As Prince grew, he would growl whenever he saw our neighbour. Mom feared that Prince may attack our neighbour's girl if he ran out of our gates accidentally and decided to give Prince away. I was very sad but the rational side of me knew that what she did was right.

It was to my utter happiness when I found out that Mr B, my then boyfriend, has a Japanese retriever at his parental home. I used to ask him to tell me stories about Mimi (yes, what a name) and I can still remember the mischief she got up to even today. Mimi was the most docile dog I've ever come across. She was so calm that she refused to bark at the cats which loiter around the neighbourhood, so much so that I used to watch my mom-in-law having to shoo the cats off the family cars while Mimi watched on with her head rested on her paws and that little twinkle in her eyes. Unfortunately she was stolen (or escaped, depending on who's version of the story you hear and believe) about 2 years into our 'dating' diary and again, there was no dog to be on the receiving end of my doggy love.

The next instance where I came close to having a dog was back in 2004 in Shanghai. Mr B and I were married, working hard and not really planning to have children, not till another 3 or 4 years at least. So we thought. We decided that it would be ok to start looking around and researching the "dog" situation in Shanghai. Mr B spoke to his colleagues who had dogs and asked for names of shops where we could possibly find a suitable candidate.

We discussed breeds and the practicalities of rearing the dog e.g. where it would sleep, who will walk it and were all set to start viewing doggidates when we found out that we were going to have a Baby. A baby..and so out went the dog plans.

Fast forward to today. I have reached the grand old age of 30 and am still dogless. I still enjoy oogling over dogs that pass me by but am somewhat more sensitive to the "germ factor" now that I often have a 3 year old in tow. It pleases me no end to watch Rebecca coo over dogs as well and she seems to find no end in pleasure when she's in their company.

We are blessed to have 2 dogs live next to my parents' home in Singapore, Tassly and Toby. Rebecca would jump up from her bed at the break of dawn and ask for permission to walk the dogs each morning. She repeats the walks again in the evening before dinner. In fact, I was told that she even took an active role in disciplining the dogs. "Toby, naughty dog, no biting at the lead" was what my nanny reported.

I'm estatic that she's a doggy lover as this means that we can have dogs live with us. Especially now that I own my own home. Which, if you recall, is the criteria my dad had set. So how about moving to a larger home in Shanghai Mr B? I'll continue to petition for it and meanwhile, wait for me my doggy. I know you're out there and I'll come get you one day.

Visit to Huashan Hospital Worldwide Medical Center VIP facility during off hours

2009-03-01T21:15:00.012+08:00

I have an injured ankle - as you've probably gathered by now. It was getting worse even after a tender rub by Mr B and so we decided to head to the hospital to get it looked at even though it was 8pm at night. Unlike in Singapore, there are no 24 hour clinics or even GP clinics that treats common ailments here and so it had to be a hospital.

I normally head to United Family Hospital nearby for our health care needs. This time we decided (or rather Mr B persuaded me) to give Huashan Hospital a try, since I did mention to him that its part of my company's in-network offering. We rang ahead and were told that since its a Saturday, any visit will be considered to be an ER case. This is in line with our knowledge of both Parkway and United. United, being an out of network hospital for my company's insurance policy, will only allow me to have an "up to 80%" claim on the charges. Under Mr B's persuasion and knowing that we should be prudent with our expenses, I reluctantly agreed to give Huashan a go.

It was a 15 to 20 minute ride to Huashan and its funny how every bump the car took was being magnified in my ankle. I was beginning to regret not heading directly to United. We were directed to park at a spot that was another 5 minute hobble to the lift and to top it off, the regular lift was shut, and we had to proceed to the "night" lift. The smell to the lift was really horrid, a mixture of urine and dirt and there was an industrial size bin parked strategically next to the lift's entrance. Very welcoming.

I reminded myself to remain unbiased. After reaching the Worldwide Medical Center on the 8th floor, i.e. the VIP section, we were told to sit down and wait for the doc to arrive. It was at least a 20 minute wait and I was muttering to Mr B that we would have had severe complications by now if it was a true ER case. Plus the medical center was totally empty. Apparently the doctor was on his way over from somewhere else in the hospital, rather weird given that we had rung ahead and informed them that we were on our way.

When the doctor did finally arrive, he sat down, flipped my charts and asked me how I felt. He then asked to see the ankle and I waited for him to bend down and pull my socks off. He didn't. Instead I had to bend down and peel my socks off and even then, he still didn't bring himself nearer to the ankle.

"Looks swollen" he pronounced. You'd think!!!

He then said that I should go for an xray before he will say anymore. The nurses called for a porter and with the script for an xray in hand, I was wheeled away. Only when the porter hit the "1 floor" button did alarm bells go off my head. Why are we heading to the first floor? The nurses had told us "3 楼" when we had rung to check before, since I had an inkling of the way Chinese hospitals work. I was NOT happy.

Note: typically, in the local hospitals, every service that is required e.g. blood work, xray, cross consultation with another doctor - requires one to go over to that department to get done and payment will have to be made before one is able to get a queue number (挂号) and the patient will have to hang around to get the report/diagnosis before returning back to the original doctor who had sent the patient on the witch hunt, sorry, rounds before. As you can imagine, this could take a really, really long time since one basically queues up all over again with each service.

The porter then parked me at the entrance of the glass doors, muttered something about needing to get a "stamp" for the xray order and ran off. Sentiments of irritation coursed through my blood and I told Ben I had half a mind to just walk off. How could this porter just leave me in the middle of no where? And why did we have to go out in the cold to another building to get an xray? How crazy is that....it was only 3 degrees outside.

The porter returned a long 5 minutes later, with a few chinese people walking in a huddle behind him. He then pushed the wheelchair really quickly, as if he was in an F1 race. I told him off for going so fast and he replied "there's another person in that group behind us who needs an xray and I wanted you to go before them". Its ok, I snapped back, I rather reach there in one piece then to fall from the wheel chair. "Wouldn't fall" he chuckled as it this was not even remotely possible. I was not assured nor amused.

Despite my protest on the F1 wheelchair speed, we still made it to the xray department before the other group. I was then parked in the corridor while the porter ran off into one of the rooms to report our presence. The porter returned a few minutes later and pushed me into one of the xray rooms. It contained a rail of curtains in a corner, a desk with a computer and a battered xray table. At this point, even Mr B was a little concerned since he saw the room and equipment to be somewhat old and dirty.

I was protesting to Mr B in english that its so smelly and dirty when the porter whipped out a piece of disposable paper about 2m X0.8m and laid it over the tired xray platform. He then told me to get off the chair and lie on it. Yeah right...lie. Mr B felt really sorry at this point and helped me onto the table. I had just settled into a sitting position when the porter plonked a lead hat on my head. Like the one in the picture, except that its bright blue. At this point, Mr B and I couldn't help ourselves but burst out laughing since it looked really silly. We both remarked that its a pity we hadn't think of bringing our camera with us since I looked so silly.

The technician came over, adjusted my foot, shooed the rest of the onlookers out of the room (by this time, the other lady needing an xray and her entourage were in the room having a good nose around) and did his thing. The porter and Mr B then rushed in after the technician was done and I was helped back onto the wheelchair and parked yet again in the waiting room to wait for the xray report. It would have been fine if the lights to the room were turned on and had it not smelt. I had to beg Mr B to push me back to the walkway as it at least had some light.

After a 10 minute wait, Mr Porter handed Mr B my films and proceeded to push me back out to the cold and back to the building where we had our consultation. This is where it gets really bizarre. Picture this: Doctor comes in, places the film on the light panel and studies it. Mr B remarks out loud that my bones are so big, and look weird, everything looks fine, doesn't seem to have any fracture and declares that it must be a bad ligament thing. All this while, Doctor keeps quiet and studies the film. After a long 5 minutes, he turns to face us and says "Yes, everything you'd described, a ligament injury. So how?" (该么办呀?").

Mr B and I kept quiet cos we were both wondering why he would ask this of us. Maybe he was just thinking aloud? No. He was actually waiting for an answer from us! "Well...Mr B says, can you do something about it?" Doctor says that this kind of this is best to not move it and just lay and rest. "How long does it take?" I ask. "Not too long and not too short" Doctor responds. Mr B and I turned to look at each other and we both raised our eyebrows. Did he answer the question or not?

He then said he doesn't think I need a cast as long as I promise to not move my foot. I then asked in that case, how many days does it take for me to be able to get back to work. "2 weeks" he declared. "WHAT?" I shouted " That's so long". Mr B and I then negotiated that the sick leave be shortened to one week. Like I mentioned before, bizarre situation.

We left the place about 1.5 hours after we arrived, RMB700+ lighter and somewhat enlightened about the care that can be had at such a facility, even at its VIP cum ER combo.

Mr B felt so bad for me that he insisted on driving me out for an ice cream treat. I kept telling him that I'll drag him here to experience service first hand when he next needs an ER visit. To think his last ER visit was at the comfortable United where the nurses actually did show some level of care and the doctor did not give incomprehensible answers, though I guess it was the pricing that made the difference -- RMB4,000 visit and a RMB700 one.

Having said, I would still go back to for any non-invasive care but only if cost was really a factor. I would also lower my expectations and be prepared for a long wait.

Huashan Hospital, Worldwide Medical Center, Huashan Lu & ChangLe Lu, Building 1, 8 Floor. Tel: 6248-9999 (ask for Wai(4) Bin(1) 外宾)

A sizzle-ping meal

2009-03-01T16:54:00.007+08:00

Since I couldn't take Reb to her gym class today and am immobile from an injured ankle, I decided that the easiest way to satiate her hunger (and keep her from being too hungry and resorting to a bottle of milk for lunch) was to make up some sizzle-and-ping food.

It is really simple.

Pop some fish fingers onto a pan for 5 minutes , pop a chuei kueh into the microwave for 30 seconds, cut everything into bite-sized pieces, randomly spear them with animal toothpicks. Serve with mayo and black sauce. Her choice of sauces and I think its the hokkien side of her that is showing.

Not super on nutrition but can do for a quick lunch I guess.

It is the first time in a long while I've seen her chomp at her food so happily. She was so pleased that she requested for a second serving of chuei kueh...and no bottle of milk before her afternoon nap! A miracle!

Rebecca requested for a repeat of the same menu for dinner and to give it some variety, I heated some dried prawns and mixed them with some steamed rice and seaweed, served in a muffin cup as a carb replacement for the chuei kueh. She finished two of those. Happy mother, Happy daughter. If only every meal was so easy with her.

Kids masquerade party at Paulaner

2009-02-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

We were at Paulaner Brauhaus 宝莱纳 for a Kid's masquerade party today. It was RMB150 for a semi-buffet and kids got to eat for free. Mr B had some german sausages and I had the fried chicken and mash combo which Rebecca found nice and proceeded to finish off.

We had a good time and dressed Rebecca up as a fairy princess, complete with plaits and a pseudo tiara. Her costume was actually a dance costume I got from a dance store. There were toy play stations, an ice cream station though we had to pay RMb15 for a cone, balloons and even a magician - who was unfortunately really boring.

Here are some pictures from the lunch and we were having a good time until I fell and hurt my foot. The irony that it happened when I was in only one inch height boots was not lost on me, since my regular weekday work heels average three inches. I blame it on the soaked, synthetic carpet grass that was uneven, and probably combined with a preschooler on my hip. It is definitely an old injury, weakened from my dancing days.

I am on the road to recovery now and am thankful for the handful of friends that were around to fetch me a coat, some ice and hold on to me worried that I was going to pass out. It was also very sweet to watch Rebecca stay by my side to make sure I was ok.

Saying goodbye is part and parcel of being an Expat in Shanghai

2009-02-28T09:19:00.006+08:00

A lovely friend is leaving Shanghai in a few months time. I am going to miss her.

She is such a dynamic person and one of the few I know who seem to be able to effect change whereever she goes. I just don't know where she gets all the energy from and where she manages to find enough hours in the day to do what she does.

She is never afraid to speakup and constantly cracks me up with her jokes. I regret not having spent more time with her as our schedules never seem to jive very much. Nonetheless, we keep in touch via emails and mobile phones.

Someone reminded me that this is part and parcel of living life as an expat. People come, people go and we have to learn how to deal with it. Nonetheless, I'm going to miss you Lynda and Shanghai will definitely never be the same without you. Thank you for founding Shanghaimamas and for being a really good friend.

Biting again at Nursery 2

2009-02-26T12:25:00.006+08:00

Yesterday marked the 3rd time Rebecca got in trouble at school for this the 08/09 nursery two school year. It is times like these when I look to the Lord for more patience and wisdom to parent this little gift. Wonderful as she is, it can be a challenge to balance discipline, reason and consequence with her.

So far, as of Term 3, we have had an incident of scratching, one of biting and yesterday was our third incident when she bit another boy. As her parent, I have reprimanded her, we have talked about it and we have prayed over it. She knows that she is being disciplined and I know that she understands that physical action is not tolerated and she needs to seek an adult's help to mediate when she can't handle certain situations.

As a parent who was not present when this happened, I naturally look to clues to understand how things escalated to this situation. Why did R resort to physical means to resolve a situation when she has been taught/is able to vocalise and has been vocalising her needs? We had gotten this well under control last school year, did she regress now or was she not able to get an adult's attention when she needed to? I had to get to the bottom of this.

I managed to get two versions of the story:

Version 1: Playing at the house with friend, boy builds a gun, comes over and shoots at the girls. Girls ask boy to stop, boy angry, hits one of the girl (naturally mine), girl angry and bites boy's hand

version 2: Aware that the girls are playing in a corner, aware that the boys are playing in another corner. Only see it happening from when the girl was screaming and the boy was repeatingly hitting the girl

Imagine my reaction when I hear the latter version coming from someone who is in the same room as the kids and the first from a 3 year old who's story jived with the other kid involved. My concern deepened when I was told that half of the class (6 children) were having a small group lesson with one teacher and the other half of the class free play. And each time she gets in trouble, I get a "we think this happened" story.

Some thoughts quickly pop to mind:

How can half the class be playing when the other half is having a lesson? Would not the kids having free play disturb the ones trying to learn? Even if play was quiet, it will still be a distraction, wouldn't it? Could they not have been engaged in another learning activity while the other half was learning? As an adult I can't even concentrate on my work if I know that the guy next to me is on a conference call, let alone be expected to absorb knowledge.
How can 1 teacher, 1 asssistant, excluding the teacher that was teaching, not be able to sense the change in energy of the classroom? Situations like that builds and escalates to a bang - I'm a mom, I know how kids are. Why did no one catch this when the kids got to the "agitate each other" stage?
And "we think this happened" again? All 3 times? What if my kid was trying to jump down the second floor and did and I get a "we think this happened"?
Pretend play guns in class? Again?

I've spoken to the teacher in charge of her class but feel that many of the responses given are not really acceptable. To make matters worse, the teacher actually asked R if she was sad when she arrived at school today. In front of her. And me. It ticked me off and I asked why he thought so, to which he replied cos she looked it and she didn't say hi to him. I would expect a professional educator to know not to pass remarks like that to a child - since there are negative vibes that could affect a child's mood!

I'm contemplating raising this to another person at school but am aware that I seem to be the one parent who is constantly questioning things and giving feedback. It may be because many in the class would not even have been put in school if they were in their home country, or maybe it is because their education are corporately sponsored, so parents can't care less and I am just more "sensitive" since we pay for every cent out of the pocket. Whatever it is, I hate feeling like I am THE over-anxious mother who is being way too clucky over her sole chick.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my child's school to bits, their philosophy and the environment they provide and in no way blame them for what's happen. I accept that this is part and parcel of a child growing up. My wish is that Rebecca will get to experience what it is like to learn from teachers who really teach because they have a sincere desire to grow and develop and care for children and not because its a job. I was blessed enough to have come across a few during my time and the impact they have had on me is really great.

So, I have dutifully apologised to the other mom, made R apologise, met out the punishment and made peace in the camp. Now to just make peace with my inner self.

Essential oils in Shanghai

2009-02-25T18:18:00.003+08:00

I've been meaning to pop by these shops to check out their essential oils offering. I'm by no means an expert in this field but have always wanted to learn more about aromatherapy since I believe in its healing properties.

Herbal shop on Shaoxing lu, appr halfway between the Vienna Cafe and Shanxi nan lu (opposite side Vienna Cafe)
Fumin lu 152 (they sell dried herbs, and I think I remember essential oils as well)
NUZI on Taikang lu (No.30, Lane 248 Taikang Lu, near Sinan Lu), they sell products from New Zealand http://www.nuzi.com.cn/

I will practice more pilates

2009-02-25T18:05:00.003+08:00

I've made a committment to practice pilates.

I really love it and regret not having started it earlier. My aim is to make class every Tuesday night after work and Saturday morning and have bought a RMB1k package to make sure I go. Let's see how long this motivation can last.

I like that the trainer has a super fit, uber lean body and it motivates me to do more, though there is NO way that I can be have such a great body. At least it gives me something to think about during class.

"Tuck in your tummy" she commands and I look down wondering why she is asking since I do feel that I have already tucked it in. Oops...there it is, pouching out and saying hi. How tragic.

I go to the Orange Room near Hongmei Lu and love the friendly atmosphere it has. I was also amazed to find that weekends and after 7pm is considered their off peak hours and that as a result, I am actually eligible for discounted rates. Amazing.

Now to locate a dance class. Do I have the guts to return back to dancing after so many years of hibernation?

Food - Frankie's Place

2009-02-17T15:54:00.003+08:00

Meepok in Shanghai? Yes.

This is where our family heads to when we miss home food and crave that Lemak or Laksa. Its a little off the beaten track but really near where we live (which goes to show that sometimes, staying in the suburbs has its advantages!).

We love its unpretentious ambience and Frankie himself is a very cheerful and nice man. We often ring ahead and the food is served once we get to the table, definitely something that can't be done at most restaurants. Well-thumbed copies of The Straits Times and Singapore magazines such as Her World can be found here, but one often has to come early to grab the latest copy.

The Meepok is a definite thumbs up from us as we've found it hard to replicate this dish. I like their curry puffs too, but only when its freshly made. He'll tell you what's good. Mr B loves their nasi lemak and laksa and we've recently discovered that he serves a good oyster omelette too. At times, we will pack away some chui kueh to steam the next morning for breakfast and we've used him to cater for R's birthday gathering the past 2 years.

Mr B tells me that Frankie has been in Shanghai for over 20 years and used to be the "canteen" for many Malaysians and Singaporeans when his cafe was at WaiGaoQiao many years ago. Mr B remembers going there his dose of comfort food.

Frankie's Place
No. 546 Huang Hua Rd (off Hong Jing Lu) Tel: 54761068
Buses which go there: 753, 721, 809, 867, 936, 57.
It's near Yan An Xi Lu and the Flower Market

The journey to love myself ...more

2009-02-17T13:28:00.004+08:00

We have more responsibilities as we age.

I think this happens universally and across geographies, whether we like it or not. Most of us choose to accept these responsibilities and somehow work our way around trying to meet these demands the best that we can. A minority will chose to pretend these needs do not exist.

As a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an employee, an employer, I often find that I put myself last in line in terms of bringing my own needs met. It almost seems like I cause myself to become an afterthought, something that deserves whatever energy I have left after others have gotten their share and I am becoming more aware that I need to first take care of myself, so that I can better care and be a better "_____" for others.

The first thing that comes to my mind is the state of my health. I tell myself I need to eat better, rest better and conciously invest in myself.

So I finally brush off the dust from my sneakers, purchase a new, better fitting excercise underwear, dig out my long-slumbering excercise outfits and hit the gym. 30 minutes a day, was my target.

Thursday Night - 30 mins on the stationary bike
Friday Night - 30 mins on the cross trainer
Saturday Am - 60 mins pilates
Sunday - Sick
Monday - Recovering
Tuesday - Hopefully 60 mins pilates after work today

This is a big sacrifice for me as its time I could have spent with R. Guilt, an ever present factor, nibbles at my conscience telling me that I already spend so little time with her, a maximum of an hour before school, another hour before bedtime, and yet I am taking even more time to spend on myself.

Its worth it, I tell myself. Look to the long term.

HK: Wing Shing

2009-02-17T13:19:00.002+08:00

A note for myself as I am still waiting for the go ahead to buy a DSLR...

Wing Shing
G/F, 55-57 Sai Yeung Choi St., MG/F, 55-57 Sai Yeung Choi St., Mongkok
(map see attached map (the second one from the map) http://www.wingshingphoto.com/contact.php)

Notes:

Best shop in HK to buy electronics
Middle of mongkok, so very very busy area
Only sell original, so you will have warranty, but make sure it has that in China as well because some brand only do HK warranty
The price there is a bit cheaper and also comes with a lot of free gift, sometimes is free battery or memory card, tripod stuff like that
Almost all photographer in HK go that shop to buy cameras and lens (at least compare the price)
Speak good enligh and very professional.

IVF in Shanghai - Ji Ai Clinic

2009-02-16T17:33:00.004+08:00

I thought I ought to blog this as it may turn out helpful to someone else, not withstanding myself, one day.

Jiai Clinic Shanghai, Known for its success rates in IVF in Shanghai. Address: 588 FangXie Road / Lu Jia Bang Lu, Next to Hong Fang Zi hospital 中国上海市方斜路588号邮编：200011, 电话：86-21-63 45 42 44, 63 45 54 68, 63 45 99 77

Notes:

Should call them to have an appointment, they will tell you what to bring
When you get there, don't be scared if there are a lot of people
They are really good at their jobs and are victims of their success
Be patient

Bhoomi Store

2009-02-16T13:39:00.002+08:00

An interesting store that I've heard lots about, but not yet visited. It stocks many necessities for Indian cooking and is pretty authentic, according to sources.

Bhoomi Store

Address for Bhoomi Store: No. 1230 Hong Qiao Road
Phone: 13472797929; 51186847

Sick again

2009-02-16T13:16:00.002+08:00

I am sick again. It seems to be too frequent an occurence, illness and me. Till Mr B is also wondering what is going on.

It started with a sharp one-sided headache on Saturday afternoon which took me about 3 hours to sleep off. Thinking it was due to my over-stretching of muscles during a Pilates lesson that morning, I took a hot soak to relax the muscles.

Sunday morning felt wierd and I thrashed around in bed quite a bit. Mr B asked if I was fine, I said no, feel funny. Had the runs and retreated back to bed. Dragged myself out of bed about 9ish to change and get R changed for her gymnastics lesson and we managed to get out the door about 10:15. Went to the bank to re-activate our bank card and it was downhill from then on. Felt really cold, pukish and miserable. Dropped R at her class and sat in the car shivering under 5 layers of clothes and coats.

Mr B drove us home and sweet R decided that she didn't want to go for lunch with her father, but wanted to stay near me. She insisted on walking me home and crawled into bed with me, saying that she wanted to sleep as well, like I do. Her efforts were thwarted by nanny who made her change and refused her entry into my room. I could hear her, but was too weak to speak to get R into the room.

Slept for about 4 hours and woke up still groggy. Had a cup of diluted milo and a tylenol and fell back to sleep. Thankful that I woke up this morning feeling much better, though still weak.

Banzai!

2009-02-12T17:41:00.002+08:00

I thought its such a creative way to pass on the sex education message.
Its a site from the Planned Parenthood in the States. Love the way the sperm lounges and shouts "Banzai" before making its way to the egg.

I saw an article a few days back on how teenage pregnancies are on the rise in Singapore. Maybe a localised version of this should be made and shared in schools.

The one about mothers

2009-02-11T09:25:00.003+08:00

I got this in an email from a Mama group and wanted to share it. It really got me giggling. Here are some answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Getting back into the groove

2009-02-10T10:27:00.002+08:00

We are back and slowly, but surely, getting back into our routines. The cold weather is affecting R and I more than usual, probably cos we are both nursing various stages of a cold and the fact that the bed is a much cosier place to snuggle than being out in the cold, open air.

The past two mornings have been a struggle with my little one, who was born in the deep winter here in Shanghai, crying out "its COLD" for the first time in her life. She's always been one to kick off blanket covers and throw her mittens down on the ground as she has always been afraid of the heat, so this sent a real signal to me to keep her extra warm. I don't really blame her as I too feel the cold.

Being away from school for so long (6 weeks) also meant that she has been a little bit clingy during drop off each day. So I've had to hang around a little more to ensure that she's settled in and ok. Thankfully it doesn't take long.

As for myself, I've been trying to catch up on backlog of emails and trying to get my head straight to focus on prioritising my tasks. I need to learn how to turn on and off my "work switch" and learn not to get too emotionally attached to my work. Work/life balance and all that.

Heading back to Shanghai

2009-02-07T23:15:00.003+08:00

We are heading back to Shanghai tomorrow, after a month and a half stay in Singapore. Nanny and Himself have already gone ahead on Wednesday, bringing with them 92kg of luggage and yet I am struggling with another 50+kg.

Praying that it will go through without any fuss tomorrow and praying for a comfortable flight for R and myself as we are both a little down with flu - her's the tail end, mine the beginning.

Eau de vomitus

2009-01-31T21:56:00.008+08:00

What do you do when you know that the child in her car seat is going to vomit and yet you are safely buckled in the front seat as required by law when in a moving car?

Precisely. I saw it coming and yet couldn't catch her in time. Despite my supersonic dump-the-shopping-bag-content-while-releasing-safety-belt-buckle-and-turn-squat-reach-from-front-seat maneuver, it was still TOO late.

Aiya. Chunks of slimy phelgm all over the dress, fingers and the car seat belt. Not to mention the smell. And having to listen to her wails of agnoy of being awaken from her nap. By her own cough, I should add.

Poor kid. Poor me. Seriously. Who needs Eau de Perfume when we have Eau de vomitus? Sometimes, I can't help but admire yummy mummies who can be groomed down to the last toe hair (obviously those have been waxed away!) and yet be seen with their prestine, snot-and-bogger-free children in public.

Did I miss out on some yummy mummy gene? What happened there?

I'll let you know when I find out.

For now, I have to put my 3 year old who's been complaining how rough the bedsheet is and how she needs to lie on my lap to fall asleep child to bed. While in the clothes that had been soiled by her earlier in the day. My consolation is that at least she's phelgm free...for now.

Junior college parenting

2009-01-31T21:32:00.003+08:00

I had a meetup with my mates from my junior colleage days and it was so delightful to see how everyone had come...in terms of having a family, or at least those that showed up somehow already have kids. Little could I imagine that almost 14 years ago we were all single, boyfriendless (most of us were) and just enjoying our merry, carefree, innocent time at Junior College.

One of us already have two delightful children. Another with the second on the way. Most of us only have our first and another of us is a new mother to be.

It was interesting to watch how the new parents among us still get tickled by the naunces of a child - giggling at how cute it sounds when the little one sneezes or lovingly change diapers and wipe poo while the ones among us with older children have a more...hmm... shall I say, jaded attitude, not even realising that our preschoolers had escaped to the nearby playground without informing us or that they had independently taken off their shoes when they entered the home. I guess the "wow" novelty factor wears off after a while.

It was also with much amusement when we watched the 15 month old toddler hit a 13 month old toddler with a squeaky rubber hammer and it was the respective mothers who went "Ouch" and "I'm sorry", presumably on behalf of their children, while the toddlers in question just stared at each other with "deer in the headlights" look. Isn't amazing how we become our children's voices when they can't speak and how we become their hands and feet when they can't react?

It was touching to watch our children connect with one another and form friendships like their parents before them. I wonder how THAT will pan out since we have quite interesting dynamics within our group. If only we could turn the clock forward and sneak a peek.

Elmo & Cookie Monster at a dinner date

2009-01-26T11:15:00.005+08:00

Sometimes the most random events can trigger an extreme fit of giggles in me.

Case in point: I saw this the other day at the NYDC cafe at Bugis Junction and it set me off. My mates who were with me didn't even give this another look, so I guess its just me. Honestly, Elmo & Cookie Monster having dinner and a conversation at a restaurant. How can one NOT laugh at that?

I must have a simple mind....

Crafting a Tutu skirt

2009-01-26T11:06:00.003+08:00

This was what I made one day for Rebecca and I think its SO cute. I used a mixture of 3 types of netting material but the material was still not soft enough for my liking - nor for Rebecca's. She does complain that its a tad itchy.

I want to make a few more when I have more time...and one for my myself for those girly whirly days!

Runaway nose

2009-01-22T12:40:00.003+08:00

My little one is sick....again. Its quite rare for her to fall ill when we are in Singapore, but I guess her outing to Paragon's playground two days ago must have exposed her to some cold bug. She's not sitting behind me watching a little television as I try to distract her from feeling miserable.

So here I am researching online some natural remedies to help her overcome this cold. Some I've found are:

Lemon (for vit C) and honey water
Mix ginger powder with some honey and letting the child lick it 3-4 times a day
Vicks steam bath to help her clear her nasal congestion - while this isn't very "natural" its the best I can do as I'm trying to finish off work before the CNY holidays. Also quite mindful of the recent report on Vicks and detrimental effects to children. But I guess it says "if use as directed".

Next, to research more on phelgm. Its an interesting life I lead. LOL

What to do on a one month no pay leave?

2009-01-14T08:48:00.005+08:00

Himself and I have decided to take a one month no pay leave to comply with my company's no pay leave policy that was put in place to manage costs through this financial crisis. Now comes the decision of what to do with this down time since I really need activities planned to keep me occupied.

The original plan was to spend the entire month in Singapore, coinciding with Himself's need to work one month out of China for tax reasons but we realised last night that R is only out from school on 26 June, that means that we can't leave Shanghai if we don't want her to skip any more school.

Oh the agony of it all. What can I do with this 1 month of "rest"?

- Plan a short holiday (but it will be so lonesome since Himself needs to work and we both don't feel its right to leave R alone in Shanghai with the Nanny)

- Go for a short course (what and where?)

- Visit my brother in Seattle (a possibility but he lives with 2 other men)

- Pay my dues by working for the family back in Singapore (another possibility but I'll miss R so much)

But one thing to keep in mind...no income for one full month!

Underwear, socks and jelly shoes

2009-01-12T18:08:00.004+08:00

I was on leave today and R and I decided to head to town to get some new basics for her wardrobe - socks and underwear. She rode the fire engine strategically placed at the entrance of Mothercare while I tried to figure out if she REALLY needed a 5-6 year old size for her underpants. Turns out, yes she did. Her current 4-5 year old ones gives her wedges. What 3 year old getting wedges? Apparently one who inherits her mom's and grandma's lovely rear end.

I also stocked up on some knee highs for school. It was a pretty good sale (30% off briefs and vests, Buy 2 socks and get 3rd pair free) and I now realise that I should have stocked up more since she goes through quite a few undewear every few months. So I guess we'll head back there this weekend.

I then stopped by Bata and found a pair of casual sandels for her which cost $14.95. We were nearly done when my cutesy spied a pair of jelly sandels and said that she liked them. I'm all for being democratic and so we tried them on and she really, really loved them. So much so that I relented and bought them for her. Thrilled as she was, she immediately asked to wear them.

We had to stop at every mirror we walked past after since she needed to see them again and again after. They are cute in a retro way. Too bad the adult jelly shoes I saw cost $49.95 and not $12.95 like hers did!

A review of One Fifth Avenue

2009-01-07T12:09:00.002+08:00

I am done with this book yesterday and I must say, I do like it, though it will probably take a while before I re-read it again as some of the subplots carry a heavy tone to it. The writing is very "Bushnell" style and the world that she describes so well in detail can be very easily imagined, even while reading this from Sunny Singapore.

I love the hint of old glam New York and having lived and worked there, it was lovely to take a trip down memory lane and recall the various places that were mentioned.

The book cleverly weaves the lives of the various characters through meetings and occurences and its interesting how one character noted that life in an apartment complex is interwined, that we can't help but interact with each other.

Given how a large number of us live in apartments, is that always true?

Goals for january 2009

2009-01-06T16:29:00.003+08:00

So, December has passed and I look back on the goals I had set myself and gosh - I've not met even one of them!

*hides under the table*

On hindsight, its really hard to get a leopard to change its spots. But I'll try ... yet again.

This month, as we're in Singapore and so have more leeway in "me time" since grandparents can do the honors of spending more time with R. I'll like to have more focus on ME.

Yes.

Good ole Me.

1. Spend time on myself - go for facials, walks and clear my mind
2. Spend time with my friends
3. Plan financial goals for 2009 with Himself (quite useless to do it for just myself since we have to combine our financials aka what's his is mine and what's mine is mine)
4. Figure out a new hobby to pick up

I think these sound attainable....*cross fingers*

Well meaning "advices"

2009-01-06T15:56:00.004+08:00

We have been trying for Baby #2 for some time now and we're stilling waiting for this gift to arrive. Dec/Jan was a "no" for us and with the travels, Jan/Feb is also an out.

Needless to say, its been a roller coaster ride so far for us. It has been an especially hard mountain for me to climb and is becoming a huge reminder in my need to call upon the Lord and rest upon His promises.

The emotional toll is easier on some days, harder on others. Take today for example, a staff of mine has just given birth to the prettiest, cutest little girl. I'm so happy for her, yet am reminded of our own desire for more children.

Its uncanny how suddenly every facet of my life can be overtaken by this one desire that I have. A simple comment, a stray thought, even the title of a book has the ability to create an incision in my heart and hurt deeply.

Take today as an example, I browse with R in a children's clothing shop and the shopkeeper engages in a conversation with R, asking her how old she is. On hearing that she's 3, tells her to "tell your mother to have another playmate for you". Then turns to me and tells me its best to have another sooner, so that the age gap is not too wide, unlike her who had 10 years between her 2 kids.

I feel like telling her that we've been trying. Its just not happening yet. Yet, common manners dictate that I should only smile and nod. The smile gets harder to hold with each month that passes by.

Its funny how everyone directs comments to me - mrs wife, even though my husband may be next to me, they'll inadvertantly turn to me and advice/conjole/encourage me to have more children. Little do they know that inside me, I'm tearing, crying and wanting them now.

My GP asked me just yesterday how many children did I want to have. "The more the merrier" was my simple reply. He was shocked and asked if I am sure. Of course I am. I used to want 6 children, that was in Secondary 3 when I was a mere 15 years old. My best mates still remember that lesson when I stood up in front of the entire class and announced my intentions to have half a dozen little ones. It was Ms. Ratnam's English class and I still recall the look on my teacher's face. She must have been thinking that I was out of my mind.

Some well-meaning friends tell us that "at least we have 1". Yes, but when the one you are blessed with is so good, you want more! *giggles* I continue to pray that the Lord will bless Himself and I with a brood of our own in His time and provide us with the financial means and wisdom to the doctors to help us in getting there.

In the meantime, I'm resting in Him, claiming his promises for us to "go forth and multiply" and waiting to be restored so that we may try again.

In memory of Uncle Stanley Hay

2008-12-24T20:59:00.001+08:00

We were in the car this morning when my dad's cell beeped a message informing him that a close family friend, Uncle S, had passed on. 2 seconds later, Auntie J, Uncle S's wife, rang dad and we quickly proceeded to their place at Pandan Valley - making a quick stop to drop R at her playdate on Sentosa and to pick up my laptop at ORQ.

Uncle S is a lawyer and is a very humble person. He came to know Christ about 6.5 years ago at the hospital when a group of people from our church were ministering to someone else in the bed next to him.

He had been admitted from a burst aorta and had undergone surgery to mend that. Since then, his health had been up and down but his faith in the Lord grew in leaps and bounds. Our families got closer when my bro and his daughter R started to take an interest in each other.

E, my brother, used to spend a lot of time with their family before he left for university and then again before he started his PhD. We would periodically go over for lunch and our mothers became very close at one point as they were serving in the same Mandarin Ministry. Auntie J even came over to Shanghai when I had R and cooked lots of confinement foods for me.Uncle S had passed on very peacefully in his sleep.

He had been having abdominal discomfort for a few weeks now and had gone home earlier to rest. His daughter, R was in Beijing on a school trip, had rang him last night and Uncle S had said that he missed her. R then prayed for him over the phone as she did every night when she is away from her father. Uncle S then requested for porridige at midnight and Auntie J, the super cook and loving wife that she is, prepared it for him and fed him his meds and watched him sleep.

Uncle S had thanked her for being so thoughtful and said that he loved her. Auntie J couldn't sleep herself, so took to meditating at the dining table, periodically checking upon him and massaging his limbs and body to make him comfortable.

At nearly 4am, she found him in cold sweat and she tried to wake him up. Hoisting him in an upright position, she rubbed oil on his body in an attempt to warm him and had someone ring the ambulance. Uncle S was muttering "God have mercy on us all" before he passed out and eventually just left very peacefully. What a lovely testimony Uncle S left behind in God's glory.

Despite being a relatively new Christian, his last few hours on earth were spent praising and appreciating his wife and his Lord. What was even more amazing is the way that he had served God through till the end - He had participated in a play last Sunday, and was scheduled to usher with my dad tomorrow and on New Year's eve.

I am sad but am immensely humbled by Uncle S and the way that he led his life for God.