Saturday, March 7, 2009

Watching a sleeping child

I recall reading a post by popular blogger Karen Cheng on observing our child(ren) sleep and I remember thinking how much Karen's thoughts resonates with me.

I often watch Rebecca in sleep since doing so helps soothe my soul and comforts the guilt-laden mothering emotions that constantly swirl inside of me.

I love straightening her blanket, patting her hair, soothing her forehead and lightly kissing her cheeks. I enjoy watching both her chubby hands curled up under the cheek that is resting on the pillow and smile knowing that she had inherited her cat-curl sleep posture from me. The ins and outs of her gentle rhythmic breaths forces my own to stop its whirlwind pants from a busy day, slowing me down to depths of peace and clam that only my child can bring.

There are days when Rebecca seems on the move all the time, as it is with most 3 year olds and it is only the night time that she quieten down to rest. Her naughty days can at times seem especially trying and it is only with sleep that I remember what an angel she is and can be.

I am sometimes overwhelmed with a desire to wake her up to tell her how much I love her as I watch her sleep. I do whisper them to her ear and at times, she nods in acknowledgement or opens her sleep laden eyes and responds with a "I love you too", before drifting back to sleep.

At times, she may fall asleep with a slight furrow on her brow, especially on days that I am not around to put her to bed from a late night at work or social event. I notice how the furrow disappears when I return and tell her I am back home, and how amazingly her body seems to give a sigh of relief that I am home.

I do have some photos that I have taken when she is asleep but similar to Karen, find them too personal to share. Do you watch your loved ones sleep? I'll share my thoughts on watching Mr B sleep another day. For now, I'm going to go back to staring at Rebecca at sleep on my bed for a rare Saturday nap.

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