First ailment of grade one

It is never fun to have a sick child - not just for the little one, but also for me as her mom.

I go through a host of emotions ranging from anger at myself (why didn't I keep a better watch on her so she didn't fall ill) to helplessness (I can't take away your pain and discomfort, my daughter) to calling upon my Lord God (here is your child Lord, please heal her).

I am sure most mothers feel this way. We accept that our children will succumb to ailments and we news to do our time nursing them back to health.

Kiddo was very upset at having to miss her first spelling session and disappointed at not being able to play with her friends.

Get well soon, little one. Fun at school awaits!

Dating my girl

Now that Kiddo is older, we get to hang out in more grown up ways - visiting shops and having grown up meals at nicer places. It gives me an opportunity to share with her about myself and also provides me a chance to teach her lessons that present themselves during our interaction. This is also a time when I get to  see a different side of my little one and observe how she sizes things up and expresses her opinions about them.

We take turns to browse shops that appeal to one another and even shops that draws both of us at the same time - such as home decor shops. Interestingly enough, this 5 year old has an affinity to home decoration shops as they often contain very pretty and unique objects and presentations are pleasant.

We went to Tanglin Mall (Singapore) to grab some groceries and supplies for Shanghai after her cycling lessons (Entry to come later) and decided to do dinner out as a treat tonight. Kiddo took me to a Japanese eatery called Tetsu. It was a joint that her grandma had taken her a couple of weeks ago as a treat. She was so proud to be able to show me something new and she knew exactly what she wanted for her dinner.

We wowed at the food, people watched, talked about the family and gave each other hugs and snuggles - a real successful date. I'm so looking forward to having more dates with my girl as she is really a fun person to be with.

Celebrating a parenting milestone

Receiving her certificate from Julia, who is an amazing educator.

Flowers were presented by Himself to her on stage - much to her glee.

Saturday 11 June 2011 marked a milestone in our parenting experience as we watched our little one graduate from Kindergarten. We have been very blessed to be able to find a school in Shanghai that fits so well with our values and parenting style and most importantly, a place where she has been able to thrive in her early childhood years.

We have been with the Julia Gabriel family since we were a few months old starting from the pioneer batch of PlayNest class then moving on to PlayClub. From there, we were one of the handful who were in the experiemental Pre-Nursery class which attempted to allow parents to continue with an attachment parenting style as the children transited to proper kindergarten.

Over the years, we have bonded with the families and it has indeed become part of a much larger entity. We know every child's likes and dislikes and we party and holiday together. We share viruses and germs of all kinds and sorts and it is amazing how the class's immunity has developed as one as the years have passed.

The K2 class that we are in comprise of more than 70% of children who have been together since they were 18 months old. Amazing bonds and I am glad to say, the bonds will probably continue to get stronger as many of them are heading to the same grade school.

I often joke that if any of them end up dating, we can actually use the line "I've known you since you were in diapers, young man, so don't try to pull anything funny!"

As I watched the little one perform on stage at her Celebration, I can't believe how much she and the other children have grown. They are confident, articulate, fully bilingual and very creative -they wrote their own version of the Monkey God classic and performed it as one of the items.

I think they are well-positioned to be confident little people who will hopefully remember all that they have in them to be fruitful adults.

Thank you teachers - many who have become friends (I know, I know, I need new friends now!) - for playing a part in helping the little one grow into the amazing kid that she is today. And little one, don't grow too fast - Mama can't imagine how heart rending it will be when the day comes for me to send you to university.

Cherished moments

I managed to capture her having a conversation with some stuffed animals the other day. She was baa-ing to the little stuffed sheep and actually play acting with sheep and the kangeroo next to it.

I thought it was so sweet to be able to bear witness to a kiddy moment like this and wanted to commit this to my memory. I know that she will slowly lose her child-like innocence as the years come to pass to be replaced by teenage angst and what not - but till those appear, I know that these moments are to be cherished.

The Shanghai grade school hunt: Interview at Ai Ju

Ai Ju Grade School 爱菊小学
Website: ajxx.xhedu.sh.cn

What I like about this school: A private local school that isn't too large and is strong in the arts faculty whilst maintaining a rigour in the academics. Performance arts such as ballet, er hu, gu zhen, piano to name a few, and the various forms of drawing are offered as part of the curriculum

My concerns about the school: Not a very strong English curriculum, squat toilets for girls (!!! rather lame I know), not very palatable canteen food, not enough outdoor space and track facilities

We, and when I say we, I literally mean R and I, had our first Shanghai school interview 7th December.

The interview was on a Tuesday at 3pm. The admissions coordinator who also doubles as the interviewer only confirmed her availability for the interview 45 minutes before the session - while I was in the middle of a nice lunch at Mi Thai. Needless to say it was a real challenge to remain composed during the rest of the lunch while adrenaline was coursing through my veins.

Being aware that this was a one-on-one interview, I had R's teacher pass us an artwork that she's been working on in class, together with her Chinese rhyme book. I rang ahead and informed her teacher that I will be swinging by shortly to pick her up for the interview and to please help prepare her.

I must say that her teachers did a great job: They had her hair fixed properly, grimy mouth wet-wiped and gave both R and I a much needed psychological boost. You can really tell I was really jittery about this process. We both said a quick prayer en route in the car and I held R on my lap the entire 10 minute journey.

We made our way to Ai Ju in good time and approached the interviewer in her office. She immediately took R to a desk in her room and engaged her in a very chatty conversation, trying to put her at ease. I wasn't given any direction on what I should do, so I made myself scarce by planting myself at a desk about 2 meters away so I was able to observe the process while being out of sight from R.

The interviewer noted that R had an envelope of materials with her and asked to see what she brought. R pulled them out and proceeded to talk through her art work - saying that she made these from colored paper, markers and color pencils. She talked about what she was trying to compose and how fun it was - all in Chinese.

She then proceeded to show a second piece which was a photo of all 11 kids in their class. The interviewer asked who were her friends and asked to her to read the 2 sentences she had written in English below the photo. This she did with great gusto.

They then proceeded to the Chinese Rhyme book which contains rhymes that she learns each week at school which also makes up part of her portfolio of homework she brings home each Friday. The rhymes at her level are now about 6 to 8 sentences long and probably anywhere from 30 to 40 characters in all, with pinyin. The interviewer picked a rhyme that she had learnt in the first week of term 2 and as I head my breathe, R recited through the rhyme in a very clear voice.

The interviewer then picked another and asked her to read through it while she pointed each word. R managed to do it again. I managed to relax a little only to hear the little one proudly announcing as she flipped through the book "Look, this is what my teacher taught today!". I almost buried my head in my hands as I cringed at the thought of my daughter offering to share the gems of her newly gained knowledge. To my surprise, she did pretty well, though she had to be helped along with a handful of new characters. The interviewer asked if her school teacher taught her Chinese in characters or pinyin. R responded that she was taught both and this got a nod of approval.

They then moved on to Math. R was asked to recite her numbers from 1 to 20 - in Chinese and then given simple math sums to solve. Now, I am fully aware that Math is taught in English at Chiltern House, and so far, the children have been solving sums on paper i.e. the numerals are written. This, however, was Math in Chinese and verbal arithmetic and totally caught me by surprise.

She was first asked what 2 and 2 was and quickly responded 4. The next sum was adding 5 to 4, and here she stopped for about a minute. I had to fight the temptation to let the interviewer know that R hasn't learn Math in this form and language. 10, she replied and I frowned. The interviewer sweetly asked R to count again and after a few moments, R said 9. I could breathe again.

This followed by an easy 5 + 5 which R answered easy peasy. She was then asked to solve 3 minus 3, which to my knowledge she hasn't covered yet in K2. She paused for a moment and replied 0. I nearly stood up to applaud. The interviewer then asked R to think hard for the next one: 20 - 2, and to my total surprise, R gave the right answer.

The interview then concluded when R was asked to write both her Chinese and English name, and not a moment too soon in my opinion. The interviewer then proceed to debrief me - the school loves her and thought she interviewed far better than many other children of the 'right' age - and talk me through the next steps.

I am so thankful that the interview went well and now we await for the call in May. Due to reasons pertaining to her cut off age and a clamp down by the local education authorities, R is unable to confirm a place here till all seats are allocated to applicants in the 'right' cut off age, unlike our friends' experiences from the previous year.

We continue to have faith that God will provide the right school for her and our family as we continue to search for a grade school here in Shanghai.

Note: I am aware that the content of the interview would have been considered very easy in an education system like Singapore - I've seen the work that my friends' kids are doing. However, since R hasn't really been pushed in that academic direction in her current environment, at least not to the extent in Singapore, I am so thankful that she seems to be thriving well and seems to be prepared for Grade School.

I recall my anxiety in K1 during a parent-teacher meet where I had voiced my concerns over this. It doesn't help that R doesn't like to flex her academic prowess in my presence, leaving me almost no clue to her reading and math ability. I can only say that I continue to live by faith when in comes to parenting her.

Rubber band star

Sometimes the best joys in life are derived from the simplest things.

We were on a train ride from Shanghai to Nanjing and I was too lazy to pull out the DVD player for the little one and decided to show her what I could remember from my childhood - making a start out of a rubber band.

She was estatic and thought I was THE GIRL! We then practiced a few times and viola, she got it! Here she is with the star she made.


I did a quick search on the net and found tutorials on how to make rubber band stars with one hand only, progressing in difficulty to 3 star rubber bands. Wow. Something to master and make her oogle even more.

It is a blessing to enjoy home cooked food

I admit it. I am picky about food. The way food looks, how it is presented and definitely how it tastes.

I spent a large part of my childhood living with my maternal grandma who's of Cantonese origin and who dedicated a large part of her day ensuring that we were well fed with fresh and nutritious food. She would go to the wet markets every other day and consistently be ordering groceries from the neighbourhood grocer who delivers (though we suspect it may have been more to do with the gift-with-purchases that came with the washing powder/milk/bleach as well).

She would actually spend 3 hours over a charcoal pit slow cooking fish porridge for my brother and me each day and would separate vegs and stir fries into 3/4 portions, only cooking each portion when dad/mom/uncle/auntie arrived home from work - all at different times. That was the extent of her dedication in getting the family the best food she can offer and a key reason why I place so much emphasis on food.

This is true for my family as well. You just can't imagine how much time we spend talking about food and how much we spend each week on groceries. Our favourite pasttime is checking out supermarkets, even on travels.

As a result of having such high food requirements, I bring lunch to work, almost daily. Besides being able to lunch in and save time on work so that I can get home in time to put kiddo to bed, I love being able to look forward to eating what has been packed for the day. The idea that the food is homemade just warms my heart, not to mention the fact that it is probably more nutritious than the food bought elsewhere. Besides, lunching on mass produced food 5-days a week can't be good for me - its simple common sense: mass cooking vs. home cooking. The latter is sure to be better.

Because of this, I have been packing lunch for R each day, with the help of nanny who drops lunch at her class just before lunchtime at noon. R takes lunch with her classmates before heading home after school daily, even though she breaks school at 12:30pm, as we have a long journey home. It is not an easy job - even for me who is able to delegate this task to a helper - since we have to plan menus, buy fresh food (I think we hit the supermarkets at least 2-3 times a week) and rush through the motions of preparing packed food, even for myself - when I find myself packing 2 breakfasts and 1 lunch every morning while trying to get everyone changed and ready to leave for work/school.

So it is rather ironic queer that we have been getting flack for bringing packed lunch to school. Not from the school authorities, but from others around us. They started from last year when she was in Nursery 1 and continue even till this year and I'm sure I'll continue to hear such comments for years to come.

Comments range from pointing out how unrealistic it is to not 'force' my child to eat school food, to how much trouble it must be to prepare fresh food for her each day, to hints of how I am raising a spoilt child who will not 'get used' to eating 'outside' food.

So allow me a few moments to rant:
Tell me, how can wanting to give my child nutritious food be spoiling her? What is so "unrealistic" about bringing homecooked meals to school everyday? Don't many of us grow up bringing packed meals to grade school, high school? I work full time and just want to do what I can, given the resources I have, for a child that I hardly am able to spend time with - is that a very bad thing? We eat out every weekend and little R has no problems eating out - either at friend's place or at restaurants.

Mr B brings breakfast from home. At times snacks too - as I will prefer for him to snack healthily if possible. I bring lunch from home. My dad brings his lunch to work. Mom and my mom in law bring food to their weekly church activities. And no, we are not given flack from the people around us as we are supposedly adults.

In fact, I get a lot of comments saying how blessed I am to be able to bring homecooked food. Since not everyone cooks and has the time to even pack food. But my child, who's dealing with a growing body and mind, is given flack for bringing food from home. Makes any sense to you? Certainly not to me. In case you wonder, she does eat the hot snack that school provides each day. So its not like I am on a anti-school-meal-crusade.

I do periodically ask R if she will rather I stop her packed lunches and for her to take meals in class, and she has always given me a firm no. And the funny thing is the other kids in class show no interest in what she eats, nor does R eating her own food in class seem to create any distruption during common meal times. So I'm not even sure why these comments arise.

R will soon start a full day program as she moves to Kindy 1. I've asked her yet again if she wants to bring lunch to the "big girl class" and she has told me yes. My task is to now train her to unpack her own lunch from her lunchbox so that she doesn't need help from the class assistant. For me, the fun part has just begun - searching for insulated lunch boxes and planning menus, knowing that it is a good thing I am doing for her. I will continue to tag food along with R as long as she wants them - as it is another form of love that I can show her.

I am grateful that R is in a school environment where they respect choices and allow me to be able to parent my child in this manner. I just wish others around us could be more respectful of my/daughter's choice too.

End rant

Simple things can make bring much joy

Sometimes, the things that gives us greatest pleasure are the simplest ones that we take for granted on a daily basis.

Case in point: Who knew that a bus ride around the estate could leave my daughter SO deliriously happy?

This van is Mr B's ride when he has to entertain heavily that night i.e. drink a lot with clients and so not fit to drive home. On such mornings, Little R would beg her father to take her for a ride and it can be a short 3 minute ride down the street, circle around the roundabout to leave her high the rest of the day.

I going to miss her innocence when she learns that a chauffered air-conditioned sedan car is actually more coveted than a 12 seater van, although also equipped with a driver.

I'll tell you about her obssessive behavior on the Mass Rapid Transit trains in Singapore another time.

N2 class photo

Here's R's class photo for Nursery 2.

She's been with most of her classmates since pre-N days and they are a really close group.

This lovely picture was taken by one of the moms in class - the amazing thing was she had photoshopped the 3 girls sitting on the mat into this photo as they didn't want to join in.

The wonders of technology.

All's well again

Little R is well again, after a long fight with the fever monster. She's back to her cheery, cheeky, jovial self, though a much thinner and weaker version. She's not eaten since last Thursday but is slowly, but surely getting a bit more each day. Literally just a bit more.

We're thankful that she fell ill (well, all things equal) during the long holiday weekend which allowed me the time to really be there for her. Since all she wanted was to be held and by me. We're sorry that we had to cancel our short holiday at Sheshan and missed our friends who went dearly.

Thurs 2nd April
She informed nanny at dinner time that she doesn't feel like eating dinner and isn't feeling well. Says her feet and hands are cold, which was true. Asked for her hot water bottle to warm her extremities. I arrive home to cuddle her to bed and discover that she does have a slightly raised temperature of high 37s.

Fri 3rd April
Make her stay home from school due to fever. She was really upset and offered to get up early and voluntarily changed into her unifornm. I said no and she got upset and cried. Insisted that she misses her friends and want to go to school. This school must be doing something right.

Received text message from nanny about 2:30pm that her fever had spike to 39.9 degrees. Decided that it was better to get her seen before the long weekend holiday started and non of the regular doctors would be on duty. Managed to bag an appointment with a Family Doctor at United Family Hospital and rushed off work to pick R up and swing by the hospital.

Poor R was shivering and had glazey eyes by then. Though the eyes did light up when she saw Tom & Jerry in the wait room. Asked Doc to test for Strep Throat as I knew that was going around. Test came back negative after a 15 min wait and I was told to just keep her away from other kids and wait out the fever, which should break soon. And since it was viral, no antibiotics were given.

Sat 4th April
Had a tough night with R as her fever spiked to 40.3degrees. Had to use suppository and Calpol to bring her temp down to a "manageable" 39 degrees. She was hot and I was tired. Her breathing was labored and I willed myself to keep awake to watch over her. Fever did not break at all throughout the day only to hover up and down 39ish degrees. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch on Thursday and her weight was falling. She didn't even want milk - which is her all-time-hands-down favorite.

Sun 5th April
After yet another tough night battling temperature in the 40s and more suppositories and Calpol, we decided to take her into ER in the night as her temps just refused to back down. ER was surprisingly busy that night and we were blessed enough to be able to bag the last private curtained off area. ER Ped was quite distrubed by R's glazy eyes and mentioned her tummy was rather distended - probably from gastric wind for the lack of food.

Her temp. registered at a high of 39.4 when we went into the ER and we anxiously waited for it to come down after she was given some Motrin. Ped ordered a blood test and R bravely watch the lab technician tediously squeeze her tiny finger for blood droplets. I was counting under my breathe to stop from yelling at him to do a better job. Lab work showed that R's bacterial count was 10 times over the acceptable limit. No wonder the poor dear was fighting such high temps. We were assured that the temps would be managable with the antibiotics, suppositories and calpol routine.

Mon 6 April
Another restless night for R and I. Fever did NOT come down, and was still in 40s. Decided to ring her Ped in SG who adviced us to shorten the timespan between fever medications and to take more baths each day, once after every medication is administered. Poor R screamed when I held her down in the tub for her shower, teeth chattering, tears streaming down her small face and crying mama.

Her blocked nose has intensified and this made it hard for her to breathe. I sat up with her most of the night to watch her gape for air and try to work a position with her (her lying on my belly, kangeroo hold etc) so that she can catch some winks.

Tues 7 April
The long awaited 5th day that every doc thinks the fever will break. I anxiously check her temps when my eyes flickered open about 6am. Temp is down! Praise the Lord! Nose is still very blocked but hey, at least fever is gone! I go to work with a lighter heart though it pains me to see how skinny this girl has become. She's still not eating and looks pale but at least I know she's on the road to recovery. She asked to go to her last Edudrama class for the term in the afternoon and I let her, though asked Nanny to keep a close eye on her and to take our thermometer along. We went home together that evening and I took her to have some chicken rice at Frankie's since she said that's all she wanted to eat. She ended up taking 4 spoonfuls of rice and 3 pieces of chicken. I shamefully ate the rest.

Wed 8 April
She's back to school today and she's so happy. She still looks really pale and is still not eating. I asked her teachers to please keep an extra eye on her since she looked like she was going to collapse any moment. I return home from work to find that her spirits are back up again - she's her usual happy, cheery, cheeky self! Albeit all she ate today was some chicken pieces and a muffin.

I'm so glad my daughter is alright again. And now to catch a little sleep.

List of useful parenting sites

I got this from a mothering forum that I'm on and thought to share. This list contains some interesting sites on the parenting journey

Generic sites
http://www.babyhopes.com
http://www.babycenter.com
http://www.babynames.com
http://fertilityfriend.com (For Online Charting of BBT too)

Gynaes and hospitals in Singapore
http://www.gynaecologist.sg/
http://sggynae.blogspot.com/
http://www.thomsonmedical.com/
http://www.kkh.com.sg/

Trying to conceive
Cheap UK OPK/HPT Strips Seller on eBay http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/fertilityplan/ - Pose Questions to Doctors live and Get Responses Fast http://www.fertilityties.com/
About Ovulation http://medihub.org/index.php/main/art/124
Soy Affecting Men’s Fertility http://health.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20080724-78485.html
Ways to Increase Fertility http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/baby/Babymaking-101--10-ways-to-increase-your-chances-of-conception-5668.htm
Conceiving Boy or Girl http://www.babyhopes.com/pages.php?pageid=23
Food to eat to Conceive Baby Boy (Alkaline) http://www.energiseforlife.com/list_of_alkaline_foods.php
Herbal Allies for Pregnancy Problems http://www.susunweed.com/Article_Pregnancy_Problems.htm
Royal Jelly for Fertility http://natural-fertility-info.com/royal-jelly.html http://aboutroyaljelly.com/
Douching is Bad http://www.4woman.gov/faq/douching.cfm
Photos of Cervix http://www.beautifulcervix.com/photos-of-cervix/ http://www.beautifulcervix.com/photos-of-cervix/pre-and-post-coitus/
About EWCM http://www.justmommies.com/articles/cervical-charting.shtml http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/store/cm.htm
About Implantation Bleeding http://www.justmommies.com/articles/implantation-bleeding.shtml
About OPK & HPT http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html
Difference between OPK & HPT http://www.justmommies.com/articles/opk-as-hpt.shtml - Sperm Morphology http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/abnormal-sperm-morphology.html - About Uterus http://www.advancedfertility.com/uterus.htm

Pregnancy
Free Online Reading of “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0761121323/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-9555474-4691025#reader-page
Pregnancy Week-By-Week http://pregnancy.about.com/od/yourbaby/a/pregcalendar.htm - Spotting During Pregnancy http://www.newmomsforum.com/spotting-during-pregnancy/ http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_spotting_brown_common_in_early_pregnancy
Foods To Avoid http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/nutritioninpregn/a/aaabavoidfood.htm
Eating Seafood during Pregnancy http://www.obfocus.com/nutrition/Seafood.htm
Eating Papayas during Pregnancy http://health.yahoo.com/pregnancy-resources/papaya-avoid-during-pregnancy/healthwise--tn9779.html
Fish Oil for Mummies http://health.articlesarchive.net/the-right-fish-oil-for-pregnant-women.html
Vitamins and Supplements during Pregnancy http://www.dumex.com.my/feeding_and_nutrition/pregnancy_nutrition/article/vitamins_and_supplements_in_pregnancy Self-Teaching of Baby
http://www.sgparenting.com
http://www.childbrain.org
Video on Epidural http://video.about.com/pregnancy/During-an-Epidural.htm
Asherman’s Syndrome http://www.ashermans.org
Baby / Toddler Food www.wholesomebabyfood.com www.wholesometoddlerfood.com
怀孕后每天呕吐，有什么办法可改善？ http://www.zaobao.com/fk/fk081106_504.shtml
妇产科医生也说 怀孕不足三个月不要张扬 http://health.zaobao.com/pages8/healthy081027.shtml
Gender Prediction http://baby2see.com/gender/prediction.html?ageselect=26&monthselect=Oct&genderform=Predict http://www.babygenderprediction.com/needle-gender-prediction.html j012-2%2C00.html,http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/pbabyprep/0,,j012-2,00.html http://baby2see.com/gender/prediction.html http://pregnancy.about.com/od/genderpredictions1/qt/ringtest.htm http://www.webwomb.com/chinesechart.htm
Myths http://www.miriamstoppard.com/article.asp?aid=86 http://www.pregnancycrawler.com/modules.php?name=Headlines&file=article&sid=645 http://www.babyzone.com/babynames/china.asp http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/dummies/myths.html http://www.onhealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51798&pf=3&page=2 http://www.family4life.com/nursenana/myths.htm http://www.lifespan.org/services/specials/myths/pregnancy.htm http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthnews/8881/12-pregnancy-myths-worth-ignoring http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Myths-Obstetrician-Demystifies-Conception/dp/1569246955

Food needs during this time
Asian Recipes http://kuali.com/recipes/
How To Make Chicken Essence http://neckredrecipes.blogspot.com/2007/07/homemade-pure-essence-of-chicken.html
Pig Trotters in Vinegar http://www.momsinmind.com.sg/classics.html http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=94531 http://sg.theasianparent.com/articles/Confinement_Recipes
Nasi Lemak Recipe http://www.rasamalaysia.com/labels/Malaysian%20Food%20Recipes.html
Food Blog http://singapuradailyphoto.blogspot.com http://cookwithpassion.blogspot.com/ - Confinement Recipes http://momsinmind.blogspot.com/2007/09/confinement-recipes.html - Thermal Cookwear Recipes http://www.thermalcookware.com/main.php?mod=Dynamic&id=23
Ingredients Dictionary http://www.paulaschoice.com.sg/KNOW/know_a.html
Western Food Recipes http://www.recipezaar.com

Lessons from reading preschool books

Reb and I catch up on our reading during our 45 minute car ride to school each morning. We read the readers that she brings back from school each day and on most days, we read a couple more from our bookshelf at home.

I love the opportunity to rediscover many of my childhood favorites when I read to her and I realise that many lessons can be learnt from these books - simple life lessons, such as:

• You need a Map to find your way when you are lost - Dora the Explorer series
• Find yourself a good quality house with solid walls and floors and preferably a chimney, else you may find yourself getting disturbed by unruly passersby- Three little pigs
• Location, location, location is key when it comes to real estate - Noddy moves house

and so forth. Really, good lessons for navigating the challenges life brings.

One useful lesson that I thought to share can be found in the book - Big Dog, Little Dog - by P.D Eastman.

It talks about two dogs, Big Dog and Little Dog, who love to do things that are different from each other. For example, Big Dog will paint a side of the house in red, Little Dog will paint the other side in green. One will decide to ski, the other to skate.

So anyway, Big and Little dogs went to the mountain for a trip and checked themselves into a hotel. Big Dog got assigned to a room with a small bed and Little Dog got assigned a room with a big bed. They both tossed and turned and couldn't get to sleep that night and were not happy.

The next morning, while on the morning walk, they discovered that they both had problems sleeping. What could they do? They ask each other. A little bird who happened to be there suggested that they change rooms. And viola - problem solved.

The story ended with the little bird saying - Why make big problems out of little problems?

How true.

I wonder how much of this got to the 3 year old but it sure did sink in with me.

Have you found any interesting life's lessons to share from the books that you read?

An injured Abigail

I know that I have a really creative AND caring daughter when I came home today and found this on my chair. She's Abigail, for those who dont' know and she's my daughter's favorite doll. She actually resembles Rebecca when she was much younger. Its uncanny but we've received many comments on how much they look alike and where did I get her custom made.

Anyhow, Abigail sleeps with Rebecca and is Rebecca's playmate. Apparently Abi hurt herself today. I asked how and got a "hit the wall, the furniture, here...there...everywhere" in a very serious tone as reported by my darling.

We only managed to remove the sticky tape bandages just before bedtime, after spending a few minutes convincing Rebecca that Abigail has recovered from her "injury".

Good role playing? I think so. Must give the credit to her school for sure!

Preschool Chinese: Reviewing 火星娃识汉字

I've been looking for an interesting way to get Rebecca to recognise more Chinese words. Most educators I've talked to agree that word recognition is very possible for a young child since Chinese characters look very much like pictures, and does not operate in the same phonetic way that English words do. We do have some Chinese flashcards that I really need to ressurect and organise a way to get myself be more disciplined in doing them with her.

I came across a very active Chinese parenting forum and one poster recommended this DVD series called 火星娃识汉字 (Alien Frog Recognises Chinese Words - literal translation). I went onto Youtube to search for it, nothing. I was a little dissappointed until I recalled one of the researches that a team member had worked on called Tudou.com, which is a Chinese equivalent to Youtube. I did a search there on this series and found a slew of clips.

I happily downloaded 2 sessions and watched them with Rebecca and Mr B. Mr B and I had a good laugh on some of the characters as they seem to be cartoon illustrations of typical Chinese elders from ancient Kungfu series. Some of story plots were also quite funny and there was a purple grape-looking character with red hair and a drippy nose who seemed to be doing a lot of word presentation.

These two sessions seemed to help Rebecca a little. She was quite happy to recite the words as they were presented and surprised Mr B and I when she cited two words independently. A fluke? We're not sure but pleasantly pleased none the less.

Some things that did bother us about this series after watching 2 episodes include:

• reference to swords, guns which we've been trying to teach R to stay away from
• use of phrases like stupid (笨蛋)
• average first 10-12 minutes of each 22 minute session was spent on a story type of storyline and is rather longwinded (we got bored, R just watched), only the last 10 minutes or so were spent on introducing the characters

Some things that we did like include:

• 52 episodes, seems rather complete
• R seemed to respond well to the presentation
• Showed how the Chinese characters evolved pictorially

The series is quite cheap though, its only RMB130 for a set from Dangdang.com

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Found this to be pretty interesting, but can't seem to locate the originals anywhere: 动画识字 series.

Watching a sleeping child

I recall reading a post by popular blogger Karen Cheng on observing our child(ren) sleep and I remember thinking how much Karen's thoughts resonates with me.

I often watch Rebecca in sleep since doing so helps soothe my soul and comforts the guilt-laden mothering emotions that constantly swirl inside of me.

I love straightening her blanket, patting her hair, soothing her forehead and lightly kissing her cheeks. I enjoy watching both her chubby hands curled up under the cheek that is resting on the pillow and smile knowing that she had inherited her cat-curl sleep posture from me. The ins and outs of her gentle rhythmic breaths forces my own to stop its whirlwind pants from a busy day, slowing me down to depths of peace and clam that only my child can bring.

There are days when Rebecca seems on the move all the time, as it is with most 3 year olds and it is only the night time that she quieten down to rest. Her naughty days can at times seem especially trying and it is only with sleep that I remember what an angel she is and can be.

I am sometimes overwhelmed with a desire to wake her up to tell her how much I love her as I watch her sleep. I do whisper them to her ear and at times, she nods in acknowledgement or opens her sleep laden eyes and responds with a "I love you too", before drifting back to sleep.

At times, she may fall asleep with a slight furrow on her brow, especially on days that I am not around to put her to bed from a late night at work or social event. I notice how the furrow disappears when I return and tell her I am back home, and how amazingly her body seems to give a sigh of relief that I am home.

I do have some photos that I have taken when she is asleep but similar to Karen, find them too personal to share. Do you watch your loved ones sleep? I'll share my thoughts on watching Mr B sleep another day. For now, I'm going to go back to staring at Rebecca at sleep on my bed for a rare Saturday nap.

A sizzle-ping meal

Since I couldn't take Reb to her gym class today and am immobile from an injured ankle, I decided that the easiest way to satiate her hunger (and keep her from being too hungry and resorting to a bottle of milk for lunch) was to make up some sizzle-and-ping food.

It is really simple.

Pop some fish fingers onto a pan for 5 minutes , pop a chuei kueh into the microwave for 30 seconds, cut everything into bite-sized pieces, randomly spear them with animal toothpicks. Serve with mayo and black sauce. Her choice of sauces and I think its the hokkien side of her that is showing.

Not super on nutrition but can do for a quick lunch I guess.

It is the first time in a long while I've seen her chomp at her food so happily. She was so pleased that she requested for a second serving of chuei kueh...and no bottle of milk before her afternoon nap! A miracle!

Rebecca requested for a repeat of the same menu for dinner and to give it some variety, I heated some dried prawns and mixed them with some steamed rice and seaweed, served in a muffin cup as a carb replacement for the chuei kueh. She finished two of those. Happy mother, Happy daughter. If only every meal was so easy with her.

Biting again at Nursery 2

Yesterday marked the 3rd time Rebecca got in trouble at school for this the 08/09 nursery two school year. It is times like these when I look to the Lord for more patience and wisdom to parent this little gift. Wonderful as she is, it can be a challenge to balance discipline, reason and consequence with her.

So far, as of Term 3, we have had an incident of scratching, one of biting and yesterday was our third incident when she bit another boy. As her parent, I have reprimanded her, we have talked about it and we have prayed over it. She knows that she is being disciplined and I know that she understands that physical action is not tolerated and she needs to seek an adult's help to mediate when she can't handle certain situations.

As a parent who was not present when this happened, I naturally look to clues to understand how things escalated to this situation. Why did R resort to physical means to resolve a situation when she has been taught/is able to vocalise and has been vocalising her needs? We had gotten this well under control last school year, did she regress now or was she not able to get an adult's attention when she needed to? I had to get to the bottom of this.

I managed to get two versions of the story:

Version 1: Playing at the house with friend, boy builds a gun, comes over and shoots at the girls. Girls ask boy to stop, boy angry, hits one of the girl (naturally mine), girl angry and bites boy's hand

version 2: Aware that the girls are playing in a corner, aware that the boys are playing in another corner. Only see it happening from when the girl was screaming and the boy was repeatingly hitting the girl

Imagine my reaction when I hear the latter version coming from someone who is in the same room as the kids and the first from a 3 year old who's story jived with the other kid involved. My concern deepened when I was told that half of the class (6 children) were having a small group lesson with one teacher and the other half of the class free play. And each time she gets in trouble, I get a "we think this happened" story.

Some thoughts quickly pop to mind:

• How can half the class be playing when the other half is having a lesson? Would not the kids having free play disturb the ones trying to learn? Even if play was quiet, it will still be a distraction, wouldn't it? Could they not have been engaged in another learning activity while the other half was learning? As an adult I can't even concentrate on my work if I know that the guy next to me is on a conference call, let alone be expected to absorb knowledge.
• How can 1 teacher, 1 asssistant, excluding the teacher that was teaching, not be able to sense the change in energy of the classroom? Situations like that builds and escalates to a bang - I'm a mom, I know how kids are. Why did no one catch this when the kids got to the "agitate each other" stage?
• And "we think this happened" again? All 3 times? What if my kid was trying to jump down the second floor and did and I get a "we think this happened"?
• Pretend play guns in class? Again?

I've spoken to the teacher in charge of her class but feel that many of the responses given are not really acceptable. To make matters worse, the teacher actually asked R if she was sad when she arrived at school today. In front of her. And me. It ticked me off and I asked why he thought so, to which he replied cos she looked it and she didn't say hi to him. I would expect a professional educator to know not to pass remarks like that to a child - since there are negative vibes that could affect a child's mood!

I'm contemplating raising this to another person at school but am aware that I seem to be the one parent who is constantly questioning things and giving feedback. It may be because many in the class would not even have been put in school if they were in their home country, or maybe it is because their education are corporately sponsored, so parents can't care less and I am just more "sensitive" since we pay for every cent out of the pocket. Whatever it is, I hate feeling like I am THE over-anxious mother who is being way too clucky over her sole chick.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my child's school to bits, their philosophy and the environment they provide and in no way blame them for what's happen. I accept that this is part and parcel of a child growing up. My wish is that Rebecca will get to experience what it is like to learn from teachers who really teach because they have a sincere desire to grow and develop and care for children and not because its a job. I was blessed enough to have come across a few during my time and the impact they have had on me is really great.

So, I have dutifully apologised to the other mom, made R apologise, met out the punishment and made peace in the camp. Now to just make peace with my inner self.

The one about mothers

I got this in an email from a Mama group and wanted to share it. It really got me giggling. Here are some answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Eau de vomitus

What do you do when you know that the child in her car seat is going to vomit and yet you are safely buckled in the front seat as required by law when in a moving car?

Precisely. I saw it coming and yet couldn't catch her in time. Despite my supersonic dump-the-shopping-bag-content-while-releasing-safety-belt-buckle-and-turn-squat-reach-from-front-seat maneuver, it was still TOO late.

Aiya. Chunks of slimy phelgm all over the dress, fingers and the car seat belt. Not to mention the smell. And having to listen to her wails of agnoy of being awaken from her nap. By her own cough, I should add.

Poor kid. Poor me. Seriously. Who needs Eau de Perfume when we have Eau de vomitus? Sometimes, I can't help but admire yummy mummies who can be groomed down to the last toe hair (obviously those have been waxed away!) and yet be seen with their prestine, snot-and-bogger-free children in public.

Did I miss out on some yummy mummy gene? What happened there?

I'll let you know when I find out.

For now, I have to put my 3 year old who's been complaining how rough the bedsheet is and how she needs to lie on my lap to fall asleep child to bed. While in the clothes that had been soiled by her earlier in the day. My consolation is that at least she's phelgm free...for now.

Junior college parenting

I had a meetup with my mates from my junior colleage days and it was so delightful to see how everyone had come...in terms of having a family, or at least those that showed up somehow already have kids. Little could I imagine that almost 14 years ago we were all single, boyfriendless (most of us were) and just enjoying our merry, carefree, innocent time at Junior College.

One of us already have two delightful children. Another with the second on the way. Most of us only have our first and another of us is a new mother to be.

It was interesting to watch how the new parents among us still get tickled by the naunces of a child - giggling at how cute it sounds when the little one sneezes or lovingly change diapers and wipe poo while the ones among us with older children have a more...hmm... shall I say, jaded attitude, not even realising that our preschoolers had escaped to the nearby playground without informing us or that they had independently taken off their shoes when they entered the home. I guess the "wow" novelty factor wears off after a while.

It was also with much amusement when we watched the 15 month old toddler hit a 13 month old toddler with a squeaky rubber hammer and it was the respective mothers who went "Ouch" and "I'm sorry", presumably on behalf of their children, while the toddlers in question just stared at each other with "deer in the headlights" look. Isn't amazing how we become our children's voices when they can't speak and how we become their hands and feet when they can't react?

It was touching to watch our children connect with one another and form friendships like their parents before them. I wonder how THAT will pan out since we have quite interesting dynamics within our group. If only we could turn the clock forward and sneak a peek.